I tend to get a lot of shit for “not telling people things.” For example, last summer I was offered to join a friend on a trip to Israel. No big deal, right? But in the planning process of this excursion, I was reluctant to share this exciting information with anyone, even (read: especially) those closest to me. Look, I get it. People want to be informed on what their friends and family are doing. And they should want to know these things; that’s what friends and family do. But I find this information to be difficult to disclose sometimes.
I can’t be the only one like this, right? So, here are a few reasons I don’t share my plans with people until I have everything figured out:
I don’t want the opinion of others to affect my decisions.
I have this awful habit of letting the input from others seep into my brain and hinder the progression of the wheels in motion in my mind. It’s easy to tell someone “oh, you shouldn’t let what people say get to you” and “if they care about you, they’ll support you.” But there’s always that lingering fear that the people whose opinions matter most to me will consider me “reckless,” “irresponsible,” or say that I’m just “running away from my problems.”
I don’t want people trying to invite themselves.
It’s not that I don’t want you there, it’s just that my plans are usually made to be as simple as possible, and the root of simplicity lies in the number of people you’re trying to please. For example, when traveling, I enjoy getting to the airport on my own. I enjoy flying on my own. I don’t mind taking public transportation on my own. Or doing any of these things with a small group of people. And I love doing it all on my own time, at my own pace. I don’t want people to hijack my planning process. If it’s a plan meant for more people, I’d invite you. I promise.
I don’t owe anyone an explanation for what I choose to do with my time or money.
Which kind of defeats the purpose of this post, huh? I understand and appreciate your concern (most of the time) but I promise I know what I’m doing, or that in the case I don’t know what I’m doing, I promise I’ll be okay. Let me learn from my mistakes and figure out life my own way. I’m going to do it whether you support me or not, it would just be far more enjoyable for the both of us if you did.
I like to surprise people.
It’s fun to keep people guessing. And it’s far more satisfying to tell people your plans when they’re fully thought out. If I tell you every idea I have and most of them don’t pan out, it’ll seem like I’m all talk, no action. No one wants that.
My uneasiness towards sharing travel news with others is definitely something I’m working on personally, but please understand that my lack of disclosure is not because I don’t trust or care about you, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’d love to share my life with you; it’ll just happen when it feels right.