1. A cheesy, carb-heavy appetizer.
A one night stand. It looks so delicious on the menu. You just have to have it — you’re hungry! The meal comes and you can’t have enough of it. Then, suddenly, everything seems different: you’re too full and you regret ever having stuffed your face with it in the first place. Just like in the morning, when you regret going back to their place to “see their vintage baseball jersey collection”.
Your good, old-fashioned crush. They come in all different shapes and sizes – you can’t always explain why it is what it is, either. You can add almost anything to a sandwich and you know it will be good. Just like a crush, each one is different but they’re always so enjoyable. There’s your basic crush on the cute neighbor across the hall…just like your basic turkey and Swiss. There are those crushes that come out of nowhere and don’t really make sense: maybe their hair is long and they have a few tattoos but… there’s just something about them. This crush, my friends, is a Cuban sandwich. Pickles, pulled pork, and ham? Sure it doesn’t make sense, but it tastes good.
The perfect-on-paper person. This one meets all your “criteria”. There are endless reasons why you two belong together. Your mother and grandmother fully support and love them. Everyone tells you how good they would be for you. But to you, they’re just bland. And, there is no amount of cheese, or sauce, or salt that will fix this for you.
True love. It’s taking unexpected combinations of flavors and making something amazing, effortlessly. I mean, who would have guessed fish and avocado would be so delicious? It’s just like love. It just works…right there in your heart, you know. It’s the best and the worst parts of two people coming together to make something that’s (believe it or not) even better.
Soulmates. Adding eggs to dishes only make them better. Even by themselves, they are delicious. Cooked to your preference – they’re perfect for you. You want a soulmate to better you, but also let you be yourself. And, let’s be honest, they are good for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or a snack. Just like a soulmate, eggs are always there for you.
6. Ice cream
A friend with benefits. It always exists, even if you want to pretend or deprive yourself of it. A FWB is always there for you when you’re feeling down or just when you feel like getting down. They’re the perfect upper! Who needs dinner when all you’re trying to do is get to dessert? Guilty pleasures exist, and that’s okay.
The person you just started dating. Refreshing. Delicious. Always promising. They’re great with friends, great with booze, and (obviously) great on weekends. But there’s always a time and a place for this (wo)man-mosa, so be sure to know your next move. If you aren’t ready to see them on a Wednesday afternoon? Signs may be pointing to strictly mimosa-status, and extending the stay could lead to a hangover.