2013 was one of the worst years of my life. I lost my beautiful 48 year old mother to lung cancer, I ended a very long relationship and I was ready to start 2014 off with a clean slate, focusing on myself, and myself only for once. I swore I didn’t want any type of relationship for a while and I refused to ever go on any dates — and then he appeared. Persistent would be an understatement. This guy wouldn’t leave me alone. I wasn’t sure if I liked him, was annoyed by him, or if I was just plain bored. I was so into my own little world, I barely cared what he had to say, until he finally convinced me to meet him in person.
I remember the night perfectly, I know exactly what he was wearing and I can still feel that little beat in my chest when I saw him for the first time. He was tall with dark hair and had the brightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I’ll admit he wasn’t my usual “type” but something about him made me want more. I immediately regretted wasting that 3 weeks or so not truly getting to know him. Everything about him attracted me. From the way he dressed, to the way he talked. He was confident but not cocky, funny but not cheesy, intelligent, and passionate. We had drinks and spent some time together. Somebody who meant absolutely nothing to me just a few days ago now made a huge impression on me. Little did I know that he would Not only impact my life but he would change the way I looked at life.
How does it feel to wake up every morning to somebody telling you how beautiful you are It feels amazing. I know and feel how beautiful I am but being told by somebody every single day can change everything. Whether it be a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a fling that becomes of this, I am so grateful that this person decided to come into my life.
From the way he handles situations to the way he puts me in check when I need to be amazes me. He knows exactly what to say when I’m feeling down. He gives me just enough. Enough to make me realize that there truly are some good guys left out there, enough to make me miss him but not obsess over him, enough to make me want to let my guard down and let him into my world. The way he expresses his love for his family and friends makes me realize how much more I love mine.
It’s a different feeling from my past relationships. Anybody I’ve ever been with was more of an obsession than an actual connection. I couldn’t learn from them or grow as a person because I was too obsessed with what they were doing all the time to be able to live a life of my own. With him I don’t feel that I need to be with him every second of the day to know that he wants me. He makes sure I know that every morning I wake up.
I truly believe that my mom put him in my life for a reason. To teach me lessons, show me what I deserve, to make me a better person, and to confirm all my thoughts of what kind of man I want to be with. I took a chance and it may wind up being one of the best chances I’ll ever take.