1. She tells you she’s tired before your session.
I don’t think there’s any worse way to begin a conversation with someone who is supposed to hear you talk for forty-five minutes than with: “I’m a little tired today!”
Not only does she makes a point to tell you she’s tired, but even worse, she sneaks in a yawn every so often when she thinks you’re not really looking.
2. She doesn’t have a general sense of direction or plan.
Every time you come in, it’s the same: Hi, how are you? How have you been? Followed by an expectation of elaboration about your anxiety-ridden week.
Thinking that your story-telling efforts will lead to some form of relief by the end of your session, you instead find yourself leaving with a self-help book recommendation, but you’re not really sure how or why you ended up with it.
3. Her experience seems limited.
You talk about issues like your insecurity, quarter life crisis, lack of direction, relationship issues, and other stress-inducing situations in your life — but she fails to see where you’re really coming from.
She takes enough pauses that make you feel like your situation is too unique to handle. You’re tired of having to rephrase yourself, because she’s just not following you.
4. She is an intern.
Although this is not to say that she doesn’t know what she’s doing, it’s fair to say that she simply does not have many years of experience under her belt.
Regardless, your mental health should not be at the expense of someone else’s lack of experience. Do not feel bad for quitting on your therapist. She will have plenty of clients in her future to improve her practice.
5. She doesn’t take action.
You answer “yes” to having thoughts about hurting yourself on your first session, but it takes five sessions to fully address it. Your therapist even hesitates to give you medication or set up a safety plan.
I feel like it is important to note that all therapists use different tactics in their practices. What might work for one person will not always work for another.
So bear in mind that if you don’t feel comfortable and open after four or five sessions, it might be your next opportunity to look elsewhere for help.