This Is The Kind Of Love I Want

It doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t make sense why it’s so uncomfortable to admit we want to fall in love. How expressing our favorite designer bag is more acceptable than expressing our deep desire to be in love.

But why is it so? Why have we gotten to such a point it feels shameful to admit we strive for one of life’s most precious gifts? Love. It’s one of the few things all humans have in common, yet we hide it away and suppress such craving.

The truth is, I think deep down we all want love. Whether you would scream it off the tallest building or keep it bottled-up, we all just want to be held and comforted during our darkest days. We all want that kind of love that brings us peace and a feeling that everything is right in this world.

We all want to find that love that is indescribably magic. 

I am not afraid to admit I want to fall in love, because I want to. And not that half-assed, casual kind of rendezvous, but a hearts-in, stick together through thick-and-thin, 100%, kind of love.

I don’t want to settle just because our world has become comfortable with this non-committal dating era.

I want someone who knows what they want and doesn’t string me along. I don’t want to constantly question if I am good enough for them or if they are just waiting for the next best thing.

Because that’s not love, that’s boredom. And boredom shouldn’t be the noun driving anyone to love.

Love should be with someone who is interested in your past and how you became the person you are today. Someone who is interested in your future, where you’re going, and how far you can go together. I want to be in love with someone who believes that trust isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’, but an expectation. Someone who listens not just because they have to, but because they truly care about the words that are drawn from my lips.  They care about my fears, my desires, my insecurities, my random shower thoughts, my confessions from my younger years; they care about it all.

I don’t want to question if they really love me. I will know it by the way they reach for my hand when I’m feeling scared. I will know it by the way they comfort me in silence when I am too tired for words. I will know it by the way we work through the difficult times.

Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic. Maybe for some this all seems too farfetched and I should lower my expectations.

But this is the kind of love I want, and I don’t think I am alone.

I want to fall in love deeply, passionately, and unapologetically. I want to love and be loved in return, and I won’t settle for anything less.

I am the only Jenna Hushka in the world.

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