For many of us, the word casual has blurred. What was once only used for the relationships that weren’t quite ready to be defined, casual has become a norm in today’s dating realm. Casual is the perfect scapegoat to avoid commitment and true feeling. And because of it, many of us have been pushed into believing we are all okay with something casual. And some of us are. Sometimes casual can be nice. Not as much pressure, things feel less serious and there are many benefits to keeping something loosely defined.
But for some of us, casual feels far from right. Casual feels like compromising our feelings and desires.
Casual becomes so complicated because it involves two bodies, two hearts, and two different sets of emotions. While one side may be enjoying such undefined endeavors, the other might be longing for more. The other might be longing for a love that isn’t just convenient.
In the back of their minds, they might be hoping it will unravel into the real thing. But it never quite does.
Because when something’s casual, there aren’t labels and commitments that hold anyone accountable in the relationship.
When it’s casual, texting the opposite sex is “friendly”. When it’s casual, going days with mix signals, is just “needing space”. When it’s casual, flirting with others is “fun and acceptable”.
When we settle on the word casual, we form new expectations that allows for behavior we might not have been okay with before. It doesn’t necessarily mean it is a bad thing; it just might not be what you truly want deep down. And If that is you, please don’t settle for anything less.
Maybe because you crave that genuine and giddy feeling of love, any bit of it feels good enough to accept, even when it’s casual. But you will never really be satisfied if you accept less than you long for. It’s like settling for salad when your ultimate craving is just a hearty burger with fries. You know yourself. You know what you desire deep down, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It’s okay to be the person who wants something deep. It’s okay to want an ever-lasting, unconditional love. A love where that person couldn’t dare write you off as casual. Someone who is proud and eager to be only yours. Someone who is so grateful for all that you are, they couldn’t leave it to chance at losing you.
Love will come, you just cannot force it. You deserve love, and not just something temporary and casual. You deserve someone who wants to define those gray lines with you.
But must be strong enough to walk away from something that is not making your heart full. You must be strong enough to look within yourself and set boundaries on the kind of relationships you let in.
Love yourself. Keep putting yourself out there, but don’t keep surrendering to the casual just because it seems like the easier option.