The hardest part about heartbreak is that even when you see it coming, you can’t predict the amount of pain it will cause. You cannot imagine how someone’s distance can affect your life so much. Because at one point you could not imagine any other outcome than this person by your side.
The truth is that heartbreak is always going to hurt, but here’s what you do next:
1. Activate your badass self.
When your heart is broken, you are going to instinctively endure a lot of self-doubt. But I want you to halt those thoughts and think the opposite. I want you to make a list of all the things you have wanted to take on but haven’t due to time with your ex. I want you to remind yourself that while it still hurts, you now have the freedom to be completely independent. Go out and take on those activities that you’ve put aside. Make something of yourself. The best kind of “revenge” isn’t really revenge in its typical definition. It’s going out and becoming your best self for YOU.
Trust me, your sense of satisfaction will follow much more than petty ‘evil’ revenge.
2. Be kind to others.
Your heart will still be healing, but that does not mean you should spend your time being bitter and hateful to those around you. In fact, the more you make it about yourself, the worse you’re going to feel. The more you wallow in self-pity and expect sympathy from everyone around you, the longer it will take to heal, the less those will want to give you company, and so on. Lifting others up is a win-win. You’ll make yourself feel better along with many others. You will realize that you do not want to put more hurt into this world, but rather bits and pieces of kindness.
3. Let yourself be uncomfortable.
The most important thing you can do when you’re experiencing heartache is to accept that it hurts but be wise enough to know it won’t last forever.
We often have this terrible relationship with our negative feelings. As soon as we feel them approach, we reject, we let it fill every ounce of our body, and we project them on others. That’s because we have never trained ourselves on how to navigate them. We open our arms up to happiness, to pleasure, and to laughter, but the second heartache, shame, and frustration seeps in, we feel chaos.
Breathe first. Recognize you are having these feelings. Recognize they do not feel amazing. Recognize they come and go just like most things in life. Recognize you do NOT have to let these negative thoughts ruin your day, week, and life. Most importantly, be uncomfortable.
You are strong and you will make it past this, even if you do not believe it yet.