The Truth Is, I Don’t Want To Be Someone’s Instant Gratification

This isn’t the first time you have heard this, but we are living in a time where abundance is the norm. Because everything you could possibly want is merely at the click of a check out button. We’re exposed to ideal lifestyles, picturesque relationships, idyllic men, flawless women, and everything else just about every time we look at a digital screen. It’s no coincidence we’ve lost intention.

The worst part is that we have the power to indulge in these pleasures from afar, with out ever committing. 

You can cancel your check out, delete an Instagram post, or swipe left on someone who told you they were fond of you. We can get rid of something that once captured our attentions in seconds. It’s a habit, and it’s addicting. To live in this place of idealistic encounters and items.

Yet what happens when this digital world transcends into our human relationships?

Treating each other like shopping carts; like we’re interchangeable.

I fear despite the amount of outlets we have to make a connection, the harder it is to keep one. The harder it is to invest in something that requires continuous effort in a world of instant gratification.

I fear that when we meet someone whom we feel a connection to, we mask it with the overwhelming thoughts of, “what if there’s more?” “What if I meet someone better?” “What if, like most things around me, they just want me, for a moment too?”.

But I don’t want to be someone’s instant gratification.

I don’t want single nights in another’s arms that leave me feeling unwrapped. I don’t want to guess if your words are genuine. I don’t want to depict your text messages like a textbook riddle.  I don’t want to fall for you if you were never planning on staying. I don’t want someone who uses me for their instant gratification.

Because despite what we are surrounded by in our digital worlds, I will wait for that irreplaceable gratification.  The kind that is real and not always perfect and messy sometimes.

That’s the point of being human. We have the ability to create connections that Wi-Fi would be jealous of.

But it’s not going to be instant. And truthfully, I think that’s what makes it so worth it.

I am the only Jenna Hushka in the world.

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