You Are Not Defined By Your Relationship Status

male and female kissing on grass field
Joanna Nix / Unsplash

Being single is okay. Being in a relationship is okay. Being in a relationship with yourself is okay. Being confused on how the heck to even date in this weird ass romanticized world is also, okay, and to be honest –quite normal.

It is so easy for our minds to wander and think about what we don’t have vs. what we do have. Don’t feel shameful if you fall in the single category, and don’t be shameful if you have found a significant other. No matter how old or how young you may be, there is no one exact dating timeline that every human must follow. And quite honestly, I think you should throw away any expectations and dates you imagined up when you were just 6 years old and wooing over prince charming in Cinderella.

There is no formula for finding your lifelong partner despite what you may think. Some people find picture perfect, exquisite love right from high school. But this isn’t an everyday case, and we cannot compare that as our only means of true love, likewise, we cannot compare the couple that found each other at 55 who seem to have found a perfectly mature relationship, as our point of reference either.

Just because you are alone, doesn’t mean you need to be lonely. Just because you have companionship, doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to feel comforted.

We allow our minds to look at what’s happening around us in any given moment and by human nature, compare it to our own state. Am I doing enough? Am I the outlier? Should I be doing more? Why am I still single? Why am I dating?

We seek to our surrounding environment to validate our own path. But the reality of this is, is that no two of us have the same journey, no two of us have to have the same experiences and truly, at the end of the day, it’s your own opinion that matters. It’s your own feelings about your relationship status that should only be in your mind.

There is so much pressure surrounding relationships and we have grown up in an era where dating and relationships have changed so drastically that none of us are experts. Relationships are no longer just classified as single or taken. They’re classified with labels and potentials like “seeing each other”, “hooking up”, “exclusive”, and a whole bunch of other nonsensical phrases that define two peoples level of togetherness.

News flash, no one knows what the heck we are doing anymore and even dating experts seem to be thrown off by our generations tricks and courting efforts that seem to take place.

Point is, your relationship status is your relationship status. Not your friends, not the hot guy in the apartment next to you, not your bosses, not anyone else’s but yours. Whether you are single or happily married, enjoy your current state. Be present and mindful in what you are experiencing, and what you are looking to improve on.  Maybe you are looking for love and that’s great, but stop obsessing or making your self feel bad for not having that yet. It will happen, but focusing on what lays in the present is step 1.

More From Thought Catalog