Next time you find yourself swiping on a dating app, remember Beyoncé’s famous words, “to the left, to the left”. That’s the mantra to live by to filter out the “bad ones” who we are probably better off never having met. Here are the five red flags to swipe left on.
1. He only wants to hang out after midnight
If you can safely bet that every Friday night at 12am your phone will light up with a text from your guy saying “hey, Netflix and chill?”, swipe left. We all know that nothing memorable (literally, after one too many glasses of bubbly) happens after the clock strikes 12.
2. He goes through a new girlfriend every few weeks
If you channel your inner Nancy Drew and semi-casually sneak in a few questions to gauge his relationship history and he feeds you the lines “my longest relationship was 3… No wait 3 and A HALF weeks”, swipe left. All signs point to him being a giant commitment phobe, so save yourself from the eventual heart break two weeks from now.
3. He flakes last minute
If you get a text saying “Hey, something came up. Raincheck?” 15 minutes before you call an Uber to the bar you two agreed to meet at, swipe left. Time is valuable, and if he can’t respect you enough to give you advanced notice about why he can’t come because he’s mourning over how his goldfish died/crazy traffic/having to attend his friend’s sudden shotgun wedding, he’s not worth your time.
4. He constantly talk about his ex
If every 10 minutes the conversation suddenly veers towards “ugh that reminds me about this terrible thing my ex did, let me tell you about it”, swipe left. The fact that she’s constantly on his mind means that her name still makes him hear wedding bells. Plus, how annoying is it that literally every other song reminds him of her? Next.
5. He keeps you a secret
If every date you’ve ever been on was on his futon and he very possibly might have zero friends because you’ve never met them, swipe left. A guy should never be hesitant to show you off if he’s actually serious about you, and plus you can find out if he showers other people in public with the same courtesy as he does you. Secrets are reserved for breaking the 5-second-rule for your late-night pizza that you accidentally dropped on the floor, not you.
Always remember, from the lips of Kendall Jenner, “Do your squats, eat your vegetables, wear red lipstick, and don’t let boys be mean to you”.