1. You find yourself feeding random strays and trying to bring them home with you — you can’t help but want to give them shelter. You don’t even know how you ended up with this many cats, and you don’t even remember all of their names at that point. Um, was this cat here last week?
2. You would not think it crazy to have three or more cats living in your home. They are your children, and they probably live better than you do because cats own you… You don’t own a cat.
3. You would much rather speak to your cat than other humans.
4. You find yourself watching cat videos on YouTube as a daily hobby. Why is this so entertaining? And five hours went by and you didn’t do a damned thing… Walk away from the computer… It’s okay to do your chores. In fact, it’s encouraged.
5. People have dubbed you the crazy cat lady. You knew it, but now others have started saying it. And now they are buying you ‘cat’ gifts. (One Christmas, I was given a cat clock… A cat clock! I secretly love it, but it’s a cat… clock…)
6. You read quotes like “There is somebody for everybody; your somebody may just be five cats” and you think to yourself, ‘yup, that’s me!’
7. While at the grocery store or drug store you find reasons to stop in the pet isle. After all Mr. Fluffikins would love this new toy (that he is NEVER going to play with). He may play with the box it came in, though…
8. Your grocery list is 75 cans of cat food, a carton of milk, some bread, and cheese. When you go to the register, the checkout person just stares at you. paws and they are hungry!’
9. Your cat eats better than you do. Seriously… kitty gets salmon and you are sitting here eating ramen. Kitty, do you share?
10. The cat had health insurance before you did! What if Peaches were to get sick? The vet costs money… “I will be fine. I think my leg may be gushing but that’s what Neosporin and Band-Aids are for!Really, the cat needs the insurance more than I do.”
11. You would rather get a stiff neck than move your kitty from that puurrrfect position — Yes, kitty loves to sleep on your pillow, forcing your head into some strange position causing all kinds of pain (and maybe even a herniation) but you, loving cat parent that you are, refuse to move them because the kitty would be uncomfortable and that would be a travesty!
12. You speak to your cat and you know he/she understands. You also know what each meow means, and even if you don’t you will still stand there conversing with your cat. (This makes you look not only crazy, but insane to non-pet people.)
13. You haven’t been on vacation in years because you don’t trust anyone with Baxter and he can’t stay in a kennel; he just can’t! You better break out that baby pool! It’s a backyard beach party for the next 20 years for you!
14. You find yourself humming the Meow Mix jingle at work. Come on, you know it… “Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow…” That’s the one!
15. Your cat has a Facebook page… and look, kitty has more friends than you do!
16. Instagram too! And a YouTube channel — basically, your cat’s social networking following has grown far larger than yours. No one cares what you ate today on Instagram. Stop posting your crap and post a picture of Mrs. Tunaface cuddling with her mouse toy.