To The Single Girls Who Have Been Waiting Forever

Toa Heftiba

To all the single girls who have been waiting forever,

I know what it feels like. Waiting. Waiting for something, anything. Even my Chinese name is pronounced as Hui – Ting, so yes, I probably know a bit of two about this. And no, you are not alone.

I like to think, that we, the single girls in our late twenties are braver. Whether being in this state is by choice or by circumstance, maybe it does not really matter. Because we are brave when this is by choice, and we become brave if by circumstance. Brave because we are independent. Brave because we can be alone.

This is not to say that those who are in a relationship are cowards, this is not to say that they do not have depth. Let us be fair, some people really do reach happy ever after, and it is not their fault that they made it sooner than the rest of us. Do not be an ass.

I am just going to say this: Do not wait around. It is not worth it. You could have learned to paint, to write poetry, learned a new language. Drive. Travel. Save your money to travel. Read one hundred books a year. Volunteer. Depending on your interest. Not because you want to meet someone, but because these things give you meaning.

These things make you what you are. They make you whole. A purpose.

So, no, you do not need to join the bandwagon. You may feel like everyone is getting married but you, you may feel like everyone is having a life but you, BUT. IT. IS. NOT. TRUE.

If your basis of having a life is the “happy” couples you see on social media, turn that thing off. Throw your phone over the ocean, oh yes, and your laptop too, then take out the things that make your heart sing.

For me, they are my books, my journals, my favorite series, my alone time, coffee. I do not care what it is for you, whether it be your favorite ice cream, shopping, playing chess, even your pet frog, for goodness’ sakes JUST LIVE. No one should define what happiness and living means for you. Because you are the one that is living your life, not them. Stop living your life for someone else.

So maybe this is not just for the all the single girls out there, this is for everyone else who is waiting for something. A big break. The perfect job. The perfect time.

I promise you, the waiting will be over soon. Some dreams will require our effort, so this article is not a reason for you to be lazy, sitting on your butt all day long. Sometimes you need to lift a finger, but there are also times you need to enjoy life while waiting instead. I was told that when we wait, it is not a waste of time.

God is teaching us a lesson, a lesson we could not have learned otherwise. People rush, afraid that tomorrow will be the last day of their lives. Let us say that is, would not it be better to look for your purpose today than to wait for the perfect man? You will die happier when you have done your purpose than looking out the window hoping for the person to knock on your door.

Remember, not all those who are in a relationship are happy. Sometimes they succumb to the pressure around them that they need to be with someone just to fill that void. One day, they will look back and realize they have been living for someone else all along. Do you want that?

Life is just too short to wait for prince charming. Now excuse me while I read about the Roman Empire. TC mark

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