If I Give You A Second Chance

Flickr / Alex
Flickr / Alex

To the person I want to love again, 

Let me just apologize for the things that had happened between us. I know, I know, I was too much. Overwhelming. I push. I push hard, a lot. And the pressure was probably too much for you. 

I’m sorry but they were always about my insecurities, that never in my life I had thought that someone would love, cry and smile for me like you did. 

I’m not sure when that would happen again, but if it would, I hope that it would be you again. 

I’m sorry if I pushed too far but I hoped you tried harder. I wished that you would have fought, fought harder still until the both of us are burnt out. Maybe that way we can say we did our best. Whether or not it was enough. 

I’m not sure if you will come back, I’m not even sure myself if I want you to. There are far too many things to think about, far too many things to experience first before I finally want to settle down. 

Maybe that is why God made you walk away. That way, I can experience myself first, living, alone and unattached, that I might experience this season of singleness to the fullest. 

I’ll love you again if we are to be given a chance. I’ll try again if you show me that you’ll try harder too. I want to make sure that the both of us will be able to taste that love again, the second time around, sweeter and lovelier than before. 

That is if we are given the second chance. 

I do not believe in loving from afar. I do not believe in loving someone that is not meant for you. I do not believe that I must fight to be with you if you won’t fight to be with me. 

Because I can think for myself, and I love myself enough to let go. 

I’m always and always will be open for you to come back, but I’m also open for another person to occupy my heart. It’s not only you who deserve my love, you know. 

Other people deserve it too. Another person might even deserve it far more than you do. 

After all, you walking away, I’m starting to realize was never wrong. I’m far happier now, matured, and a I have experienced more things and met wonderful people. 

So no, I don’t regret seeing you leave. 

But it doesn’t mean that we cannot meet somewhere. There, at a corner coffee shop, or at the grocery. And it doesn’t mean that I do not want you back into my life again. 

Who knows, maybe now, if things go wrong, we would fight a little harder. TC mark

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