Boys, I’m Not A Tease; You’re Just Narrow-Minded

Rusty Clark
Rusty Clark

Having been called a tease by multiple boys, (I will refer to them as boys because if I say men, I imply a higher level of maturity and understanding). I believe it is my right to discuss and defend my stance on this topic.

The consensus says that being a tease is the act of giving off the idea that you are sexually interested, but do not intend on ‘giving it up’. In saying that, I strongly believe that I, and many other women have been falsely accused of this term countless times.

A message to boys: just because a girl you are conversing with can keep up a conversation with you, can joke and laugh with you, all while maintaining a moderate level of eye contact, does not automatically point to sexual desire. After all, what separates us from other species is that we are all social beings. We were made to connect with other humans, regardless of their gender.

I will not hesitate to admit that there have been times in which I had the intention of flirting, or better yet, seducing a member of the opposite sex. However, more times than not, my body language has been overlooked and mistaken for.

I am easily amused, so it is not hard to make me laugh. My parents showered me with unconditional affection throughout my youth, a possible reason for my subconscious tendency to be touchy with someone whom I am conversing with. I am outgoing, social and appreciate a good listener, so I will be fully involved in almost any conversation I encounter. I will more than likely make fun of you, not as a reverse psychology method to get in your pants, but because my sense of humor rewards me with the ability to do so. More significantly, I treat everyone I meet, that appears relatively normal and low on the creepy scale, with a certain level of respect. Even if I do not particularly care about what they have to say, I will pretend I do, as to not hurt anyone’s feelings or come off as snobby. I am down-to-earth, less judgmental than many people I know, so I often see everyone as worthy of conversation.

My problem with the word tease being thrown around is that it negatively coincides with having an outgoing, fun-loving personality. The repetitive accusations only make me question myself when I meet new people. Should I hide my smile, or suppress the hearty chuckle that won me “Best Laugh” in my senior yearbook? Would it be a better idea to respond to people with one-word answers and dodge all eye contact when I am spoken to, all to avoid falling victim to being called a tease?

The misinterpretation of women’s intentions is prominent for generation y. Women in this cohort are more sexually promiscuous than they were years ago, but are also the least submissive they have ever been in comparison to men. Women like myself are not scared to be as outspoken and expressive as men.  Sadly, men are too quick to take this as an indicator for them to make advances on a woman who is putting herself out there. A women who puts herself out there, not to be sexually disposable, but as a worthy individual who deserves to be judged and treated based upon her character.

So for those of you, who automatically assume that a decently attractive female is only fully immersed in a conversation because she wants to be sexually pursued, think again. There is a good chance she may just be guilty of wanting an intellectually stimulating conversation.

The time has come for these misinformed boys to turn into respectable men who realize the difference that lies between being personable and being DTF. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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