In a bitterly cold, black and white definition, the nature of being sociopathic is to lack empathy and to some degree, to lack enough emotional intelligence to understand suffering, pain, and heartache.
Come on, we all know them. Or perhaps we can relate to having to harden up a little to get through a certain trauma. The problem is that we have numbed and hardened ourselves to deal with pain to such an extent that we can’t feel anymore. We’ve stood in the crossfire of emotional wars, numbing ourselves instead of using our feelings and emotions as ammunition, and the results aren’t pretty.
It’s obvious that there are more bundles of anxiety walking the streets than ever before, and society has responded with our favourite numbing cures. From food, phones, sex, drugs, people, movies, and even excercise, we’ve managed to find relief in these fleeting moments of ecstacy.
Divorce rates are higher than ever, and our generation is struggling the most to find and stay in happy relationships. I hate to say it, but meeting at the fruit and veg counter and bonding over the same carrot is becoming less and less likely. We’ve become so obsessed with ourselves that losing our phone hurts more than losing a person. Somehow, we’ve taken individualism and used it to legitimize narcissism. We’ve forgotten that the “it’s all about me” mentality routes itself in selfish behavior and is pushing us towards a sociopathic mentality. “Relationship goals” and “good on paper” have shaped our future partners before we’ve even met them because of their inherently selfish foundations.
Height, name, history, vegan? Forget it.
He’s got a kid? Pass.
He lives outside the city? Effort.
This very behavior highlights how disconnected we are from our senses. We are connected to technology, to our ego, to our need to show everyone our perfect life because we think other people’s validations are better than our own.
Regardless of being in a relationship or not, even our sex lives have changed. Sex is meant to be about touch, about scent, about feeling and learning what makes you feel good. It’s an equal exchange of pleasure and heightened senses. Now it’s about perfect positions, perfectly carved bodies, thigh gaps and tweezer finished waxes. Pornography, for one, has forced us to achieve a certain ideal of what “sexy” is meant to look like without using our senses. Porn has convinced us that even the fakest scenarios should be our realities. Most people don’t really know what their bodies want, they just know how to please their partners, probably based on a step 1 to 10 article online.
Even movies and commercials are desensitizing us as they get louder, bolder, and more shocking. They’re pushing us to feel everything at once. We’ve become desensitized to human suffering from killing characters in video games without even flinching to the ability to watch refugees suffering on the news and go about our day five minutes later whilst complaining about bad WIFI connection. Perhaps our ability to be resilient is finally backfiring, as we are feeling less and less in the noisiest time our world has ever seen.
So what can we do about it? Acknowledge it. Slow down, and I mean really slow down. Get out in nature and tune into it. Walk barefoot on the grass, touch a tree, turn your phone off for a few hours and read. Smile at the guy who made you coffee, speak to a stranger. Wonder. Daydream. Fall in love with living, with those little moments of creation. Write. Take yourself out on a date. You don’t need to run to India to find yourself. You can start right now just by slowing down. Reconnect to your senses. It’s safe for you to feel again.
Watch, smell, touch, taste and hear.