When our time has run out like the sand in an hourglass turned upside down, I would stand at the spot where we first met and whisper to wind all the things I wish I could tell you. I would still be thankful for our sliver of time, the memories we shared, and all those in between. For all the times we were together, I’m secretly praying that this day would not come, when it’s time to say goodbye, when we’ve maxed out all our luck.
When our time has run out, I would tell you all the things I could not say when we had time. I would tell you how much I loved you, more than I should have, more than you knew. I would tell you that you are my person, that even lost in the crowd, my heart could pick you apart from the rest of the world.
I would tell you I was happy with whatever we had. I would tell you that even when I was anxious about the coming of this day, I was happy. I felt all the things a person who truly loves should feel. It was beautiful yet tragic yet mysterious and yet again, wonderful. It was the kind that no words could paint, no colors could describe.
I would tell you how amazing you are as a person. I would always remember how your brows would furrow when you’re thinking or annoyed, how your eyes would shine when you’re happy, how I hate your laugh because it sends butterflies in my stomach. I would tell you how much I loved you holding my hand, how it makes me feel warm and secured, how your tight hugs comfort me.
When our time has run out, I would go back to the places we went to and relish on the memories. I would then tell you how often I thought about what we could have been, of our chances. I would tell you how I secretly prayed for our time to freeze or for that moment to last a little longer.
I would tell you how I regret not sharing my stories, dreams, fears and hopes even when you opened up. I would tell you all the things I wish I did and how I pray for the last chance to set it right.
I would tell you to be happy, to keep your head high, to not be pressured by the demands of work. I would tell you to not fear change and risks. I would tell you to chase your dreams, have fun and enjoy what life has to offer you.
When our time has run out, I would go to the places we often talked about, do the things we planned to do, travel and get lost, hike and camp, cliff dive, try parasailing and skydiving, immerse to different cultures, try native food, dance and sing like a local, get drunk and be wild. All the things we would have done together if we had a longer time.
I would make our dreams come true although alone. I would make sure I kept my promise and my part of the bargain to not be sad. I would tell you not to worry about me and just be happy with the person you truly belong to and that I’m forever grateful for the shared time. At the end of the day, even long after our time has time run out, I would always get your back, and just like before when I have watched you from the distance, this time, I would love you from afar.