I am tired of hearing the same old “If you lost this much weight you would look this way”, “if you lost this amount of weight you would look even more beautiful”, “If you went to the gym you would feel better”, and an occasional “you being overweight stresses me out” is a favourite line of my dad’s. Sometimes, I tell him that his being annoying stresses me out. He doesn’t like that very much. Deep down I know he is coming from a place of concern and I bet a lot of the people who love you are – but that does NOT make it okay to be insensitive. And tough love does more damage than good.
I have struggled with weight issues my entire life. Mostly because I’ve always been told by people like my mother, father, distant family, close and far cousins, coworkers, my sister, some friends that I am “fat”. Really – I am not. I am curvy. I need to lose maybe 20-30 lbs tops. I would feel better if people accepted me the way I love my own body. If I adore who I am – what business is it for anyone else not to? I will admit that I hate going to the gym, I will sometimes pick a donut over oatmeal. But I am human and I have urges.
I think fat awareness isn’t something people are born with – it’s created. It’s shoved down your throat because someone else is insecure, or uncomfortable with how much you like being “you”. I don’t want to look like Gisele, or Adriana Lima. That is apparently the standard and people so quickly overlook beautiful curvy women like Kristina Hendricks, America Ferrera, Christina Mendez etc. I could easily be “thinner”, but the truth is, I have finally learned to enjoy being who I am. I like being in my skin. It’s taken me twenty something years to look in the mirror and say “You are beautiful” to the gorgeous, woman staring back.
I AM BEAUTIFUL. We all come in so many shapes and sizes. Just because someone is a size 2 or a size 12, doesn’t make them any less of a person. I have gone through sizes 4, 6, 8, 10, and even up to 14. I hated some stages but right now, I am at a comfortable 12. I have big hips because I have big bones. I have big breasts because my body is built that way. I enjoy dressing up and my self confidence is increasing because I no longer put stock into what anybody says to me.
I have tried numerous diets over the years. However, I do encourage healthy eating because in fact it promotes longevity and prevents health issues when old age rolls around. But, I do not encourage soup diets, 12 day detox diets that make you shit 6 times a day, strictly smoothie diets. All of that is bad information. Eat what you want – but eat it in moderation. Exercising is important but do what you are comfortable with until you are ready to meet your goal weight.
But remember – DON’T do it for anyone but yourself, or to shut people up because that is wrong. Be comfortable enough in your own skin to put your foot down when someone has the audacity to shame you for being exactly the way you LOVE being.
Fuck the haters and embrace yourself because you are beautiful.