I’m fresh of the heels of ending yet another brief courtship with a nice boy. I made the decision somewhere between the The Icebergs and the Erosion series in the Dallas Museum. He didn’t appreciate my sardonic remarks, and I couldn’t pretend to be transfixed by another fat angel baby. We had some nice times, but no real connection.
In true routine, I had to call my closest girlfriends and break the news; he was Someone but not The One, and it was over. After being prescribed a Sex and the City marathon and coming to the obvious, unanimous decision that my fate was destined to be with Jared Leto, we progressed to other topics and cemented our ever-strong bond with laughs, bad British accents, epiphanies and silly life anecdotes.
“Talk to you later.”
And with the click of a button, it clicked; I don’t connect with suitors the way I connect with my girlfriends. If a soulmate is someone you can sit in silence with, knows you better than you know yourself, and brings out the truest “you” there is, well, then I have found my soulmate in my closet girlfriends.
A girlfriend can read between the tiniest of lines, and knows what you really mean with one glance, one smirk, or an “I’m fine.” She understands that some days can only be cured with risking salmonella and vocal cord damage with eating raw cookie dough and screaming Kelly Clarkson songs. She encourages you to take risks, take chances on people and take the last donut in the break room. She will help you construct the perfect quippy flirtext and outfit. She holds your hair back when you get drunk, and she holds you when you get dump. She is somehow a hybrid of a mother and a boyfriend without the nagging or playing with the balls. She’s your soulmate.
Maybe in the future I’ll find a man to debunk this theory, and he’ll confirm that “The One” really was out there and wasn’t some urban myth I dismissed it as. And call me cynical, (“Cynical!”) but I’d rather invest more of my efforts and emotions in a lifelong friendship than a likely doomed relationship.
Perhaps Charlotte York was onto something, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.