1. You bought green food coloring and Natty Light (despite hating cheap beer and the color green) in hopes to recreate past memories of Green Beer Day.
2. You’ve cried in public because “Wagon Wheel” came on, and you were sober and alone in a grocery aisle deciding between cookie doughs instead of a handicapped graffiti-stained bathroom stall with your three best girlfriends.
3. Your work cubicle resembles a funeral memorial for your former social life.
4. You’ve seriously considered being a gypsy, (translation: couch surfer) and traveling to all the places your friends live, and never getting a job again.
5. You make a paper house out of your bills and W2 forms.
6. You’re still not sure how to fill out a W-2 form.
7. You’re yo-yo weighting again because you’re either on a diet of Skinny Girl alcohol and BBQ chips or your own tears and stress of learning how to be a grown-up.
8. You’ve actually Googled “post-traumatic graduate disorder” in hopes there are local support groups and color runs you can participate in.
9. You’re playing an old break-up playlist (aka your Lady Antebellum library).
10. You deleted your Instagram and Twitter due to severe #FOMO and chronic graveling during #tbt.
11. You’re refusing to acknowledge your fast-approaching birthday.
12. You’ve tried to turn in a doctor’s note to get out of an 8 am meeting.