How To Love Yourself When It Feels As If No One Else Does

Love yourself. A mantra you hear often, but proves to be a lifelong journey.

There’s those stretch marks, the blemishes, slightly crooked teeth, not so witty sense of humor, the weight gain (or loss) and let’s not forget about our already assumed insecurities from adolescence plus the ones we’ve acquired in our relationships. In a world full of perfect looking lives, we have completely traded in our sense of self-worth for self-loath and it feels like death.

Loving yourself in a competitive society that doesn’t encourage you to do so in order to commercialize off of your insecurities, implies that this is a far larger task than anyone could have imagined. One that we often push to the side in order to avoid working too hard or simply because we desire to fit in.

The thought of being alone and isolated from what society expects of us is frightening to the mind that knows nothing else. But in order to be truly happy with one’s self and one’s life, inevitably the time will come to face your fears.

When unhappiness has taken over for the one-hundredth time, depression has set in, anxiety manifested, you’ll grow tired of experiencing this phenomena. Desperately, you’ll crave to feel something more genuine.

The true fix is not to live your life according to trends or how other people expect you to live, but to live a life based on what you want for your wellbeing and how you wish to feel about yourself.

Below are a few methods that will aid you in connecting with your true self while eliminating everything around you that doesn’t lead to peace.

1. Yoga + Meditation

Yoga allows your body to slow down and connect with your mind. While Meditation allows your mind to slow down and connect with your body. Being centered and grounding into who you are is imperative to discovering the life you really want to live.

2. Ask Yourself the Important Questions

After or during meditation, ask yourself these questions. Think deeply and vulnerably about your answers: What is no longer working in my life? Who brings me the most peace/Who brings me the most pain? Are my living arrangements conducive to my progress in life? What do I care about most/Why am I not enjoying this more? What are the things I know I should be doing, but haven’t? What is my purpose? In what ways can I put my happiness first?

3. Detach from people who interrupt your peace

The gossipers. The boastful overachievers. The complaining underachievers. The victims, the whiners. Liars. Cheaters. People who take you away from the direction in which you envision for yourself. The saying stands true, you are who you surround yourself with.

4. Create a new environment

Create an environment that reflects the life in which you want to live. Make it feel promising. If your home or workplace doesn’t inspire you to wake up grateful and inspired every morning, decorate, clean, and use good design to revamp your life. Beautiful design inspires the soul to act.

5. Fix Your Insecurities

Lastly, if you don’t prefer something about yourself, fix it. If you know that by having a hefty bank account, your confidence would rise, fix it. If purchasing Invisalign would provide you with a better morale, do that. If sprucing up your wardrobe would make you feel a little bit better about how you see yourself, buy what you need. However, keep in mind that material objects will never actually bring you peace. They are merely a reflection of how you view yourself. Peace resides within the mind and the thoughts surrounding it. Focus on your changing your thoughts and everything else will fall into place.