No matter how idealistic and naive this may sound, you can take the power away from your haters if you take total, unashamed ownership of every part of yourself — the good, the bad, and the busted.
1. The mother of all my physical flaws…my nose.
Not only is it big, but it also has that weird butt shape at the end. I have a butt nose. Like I have barely any butt where my butt should be, but I have a butt where a butt shouldn’t be. #MyLife #ILikeBigButtNosesAndICannotLie
2. A quasi-clothing-deficiency.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just a walking advertisement for American Eagle, except less muscular and attractive. I have (on numerous occasions) bought the outfit rights off of a model on the website because I’m not original enough to put my own outfits together. #NotReallyUnique #Oops
3. My legs are really skinny.
I don’t mean, “sexy” skinny, I mean “bitch eat some food” skinny. They were more visible in the original version of this picture but I cropped it because I had some difficulty looking at those tiny things. I am serving chicken leg realness. #Sticks #DontGotLegsForDays
4. Bad hair.
I wear hats a lot to cover up my messy hair. I’m not really good at styling it (read: I’m horrible at it). If my hair isn’t trimmed frequently enough it will look awful. I don’t know what I’d do without beanies. Well, actually, I’d be stuck with my messy and un-styled hair is what I’d do. #IThinkIActuallyNeedAHairCutNow #TimeForTheBeanies
Aaaand I think I adequately read myself the house down. Not long ago, I would’ve been horrified at the thought of sharing myself like this. I had always just gone along hoping no one would notice. But that’s no way to live, in fear of people taking notice of your imperfections. Everyone has them (unless you’re Sarah Michelle Gellar); you just have to search harder for them on some people. Think about that the next time you start disliking something about yourself.
Obviously I’m not the first to preach this. There have been so many to come before me, two of whom I’ll mention here.
RuPaul’s Drag Race season 5 favorite Alyssa Edwards was called out for having “back rolls” when she wore a two-piece. When she was invited to perform as an opener at the season 6 reunion special, she opened her performance by showing her back rolls to everyone. That is the epitome of a queen. She took so much ownership of the back roll joke that now no one can ever use it against her. It’d be a waste of their time to even try.
Mindy Kaling is another fantastic example. Women in the public eye are often condemned when their bodies do not fit the skinny-bodied female mold that America has created. She’s pre-emptively stood up to anyone that would like to insult her by proudly sharing her love of food and refusing to change for anyone. At the end of the day, people that throw shade and cruel words her way are just spending valuable time and breath while she’s living it up.
You don’t have to be a celebrity or some sort of superhuman in order to live life with your flaws proudly displayed. I’m sensitive and emotional — just like, or even more so, than everyone else — and I can do it. And Part of the reason I’m able to is because I’ve learned to realize that no one is perfect, so I shouldn’t expect myself to be either.
I’m no longer afraid of people calling me out for my flaws. I know that I’m a complex, three-dimensional human being no matter what anyone says. My flaws are part of me, but they do not define me. I love them because I love myself. Like RuPaul always says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” I want real self-love, not the fake shallow kind, because I deserve it, and everyone else does too.
My name is Jayson Flores. I have a huge butt nose, a tendency to shop like I have no fashion sense of my own, tiny chicken legs, and no skills at managing my chaotic, basic hair… and I love it.