Getting involved with a colleague is one of the most common and most idiotic mistakes you could make, especially if you really enjoy your job. But it happens to the best of us. I mean, we are stuck with our annoying coworkers almost every second of every weekday and it’s not our fault if we become emotionally attached to at least one of them. But unfortunately, we fail to realize how important the statement, “You should never shit where you eat,” is until the downfall of our workplace love affair.
The most important thing to remember is to never make intentional eye contact with your ex unless you are absolutely forced to. This doesn’t mean you should stop looking in the direction you were already looking in, just because they happen to step into your view. It just means you shouldn’t focus on their presence. This is for your own good, because gazing at your old lover (even if you hate them) could bring back the good memories you’re trying to suppress. Remember, your goal is to get over them, not to get back under them!
Interactions can be tricky, because most of us are prone to lashing out on our evil exes and calling them out on all of the stupid things they’ve lied about in the past. But you should try to fight that urge by being an adult, because being the bigger person means you’re one step closer to getting over their indiscretions as well as improving your ability to deal with childish situations in the future.
So, when you’re faced with your nemesis, remember to be cordial. It is the most effective tool in order to coexist with people you’d rather see collecting trash on the freeway. By being cordial, you are showing that you are truly done with anything that you previously shared with them.
But if you are overly nice, that silly fool may still think that they have a chance to get back with you, so your actions have to show that you would rather be hit over the head with a pipe. The best way to do that in an adult-like fashion is to be cordial. Give them a subtle smile and turn any conversation you have with your ex into a work conversation. It will let them know that work is meant only for business. Personal issues will be handled after work and they won’t be a party to those issues anymore.
This might sound vaguely sarcastic, but actually focusing on work can be a key factor in coexisting with an ex in the workplace. If you devote all your energy into work when you’re there instead of lingering on those five minutes of goof off time, then you won’t have time to think about anything else. And not only will you ignore your ex in the process, but you can end up getting that raise you deserve.
If you work in a very social environment and all of your colleagues interact on a common basis, make sure you treat them the same way did when you were with your ex. If you treat old coworkers strangely every time your ex comes around, then they will start to notice and they will ask questions. Then you’ll get annoyed by those questions and your business will be made public.
If you socialized with certain coworkers through your ex, you may have to let those relationship go, because they probably have already chosen to be friends with your ex. Don’t be discouraged if they chose your ex over you. It was probably for the best.
Your last resort is to find a new job. This may be irrational to some, but for others it is almost impossible to focus on business while having to face the person you thought you would spend forever with.
If your workplace lover was simply a fling, then don’t bother with drastic piece of advice, but if you actually felt something real and gave your ex a part of yourself, then quit immediately (if you can find another job in time to survive) because you will be in pain whenever you see them.