With a fresh wound in your heart after an awful breakup, it’s normal to feel and deny the pain that feels like it’s crushing your chest. However, you can’t keep that feeling forever. Soon you’ll have to accept how awfully things turned out and get over with it.
You want to be resilient and on the winning side of this grueling battle toward getting over with your ex, but this is a process that can’t be rushed nor one that offers a shortcut to the finish line. It takes time and a whole lot of patience to keep you on track.
Time is such a precious gift, and it’s not something anyone can afford to waste. However, taking your time is essential to moving on. You cannot take a short detour to move on by going out for a date and doing hookups. You have to keep yourself on the edge of your sanity. There’s no time to beat in this process, nor a time frame to tail. This is not a competition of who’s going to move on first, but whose heart is brave enough to keep moving forward and get over from the person who broke their heart. It doesn’t matter if it takes you longer to move on than your actual relationship; what matters here is you keep yourself pacing forward.
Hatred is definitely not an option in this process. This would just deliver the worst version of you because of investing on hatred to a person. Hatred will only add to your burden instead of freeing yourself from the bondage of the past. Moving on is not about hating the person or the feeling. It’s about learning to accept the feeling and the memory of the person as a legacy of your heart’s courage to love. That one day, hearing his name won’t hurt you anymore, because you have successfully forged a scabbard for the memories of the name that once pierced through heart. Opening your heart to someone is not something you should regret.
You have to endure the pain no matter how excruciating it may be. Moving on is not retribution of your choice to love, but a chance to take a better look of yourself. You’ve been caring so much about him. Now, it’s time you take care of yourself. It won’t be easy of course, having someone beside you and now on your own. But it is when you’re alone that you discover more about your soul sleeping in the core of your totality.
It’s OK to distance yourself from your friends for a while. They’ve been your allies in your entire relationship—supporting you on your decisions, giving advices, comforting you when feeling down. But this time, you have to ace this on your own. You don’t need anyone to fix you, no matter how wrecked you feel inside. You’re not going to lose your sanity by being alone. Moving on is a great opportunity to set yourself on a new kind of journey of your life—a new kind of independence.
Go and take a trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted, go out and have some coffee while reading the book displayed in your shelf, do whatever you want. No one’s going to stop you and you no longer have to ask consent from someone else. You’re on your own now, and that’s how it’s going to be for a little while. But you’ll be fine; it all comes down to your strong heart and desire to break free.