I Choose To Keep Your Love With Me

Joshua Earle
Joshua Earle

It has been four years; I have met a lot of people who played a really short role in my life. But of all the people who passed me by, your love is the one that I chose to keep.

This perhaps, is the craziest thing I have ever done for love. It may even be considered as a torture to me, but it’s the least I can do to not forget how thankful I am to you for giving me paradise in just a short period of time.

As I go back to all of my Facebook status from the time I met you, up until we unintentionally broke each other’s hearts, it remains a question to me why you—the one whom I had never get a chance to caress, dealt a great damage to me and became my heart’s greatest disaster—had become my heart’s favourite romantic character. And for that reason, I chose to keep your love.

I chose to keep your love to be my token from the place we created that I could no longer visit.

You took me into a world that only the two of us know. It’s such a wonderful place I thought never existed.  We can’t live there of course, but it was a place where our hearts had beautifully lived—a romantic dimension where our hearts perfectly understand each other, and give us an experience beyond physical satisfaction.

But it’s a complete desert now for sure. Everything that we planted there had died on thirst after we fell apart. There’s no way we could mend it. All that’s left are the memories with your love inside me. All the moments we had are still clear in my head, and the feelings we had are still clear in my heart.

I chose to keep your love to remind me how beautiful it is to love.

We deserve someone else—a better person who would appreciate us more than how we appreciated each other.  We may not be half on our own journey towards finding that one. And while I’m on my search, I’ll keep your love to remind me not to be afraid of letting someone inside my heart.

Love is such a beautiful feeling. But it’s not out of everyone’s knowledge how it could ironically break you into pieces beyond repair. They say pain is not worth it if it’s the wrong person. But how do we know if the person standing in front of us is the one? There is no equation for it. You have to try. That’s the only way you can tell by yourself.

That’s the beauty in love, it tests your bravery. Your love taught me to mightily sail away from my comfort zone and explore the world around me. That’s the reason how we met after all. And I’m keeping my hopes high that doing such would still lead me to that someone the way it brought me to you.

I chose to keep your love to pin me in reality.

In spite of being able to create our own world out of our love, it is also your love that pinned me to reality. I still remember how my dreams for us had taken me so far and suddenly, you told me you can no longer keep me? It was that exact moment that I was quickly pulled back to reality.

Your love constantly reminds me to keep things real, to deal with relationship in such way that is not in accordance to what I have read in books or seen on television or movies. This is all about two people dealing with real and tailored circumstances for their relationship to grow.

Despite failing in our own circumstances, I’m really glad that keeping your love has left something useful. There is no way I’d regret that I let you in my heart. Your love taught me a lot of things I never thought would understand in love. I’m still young and still a lot ahead of me. But I must thank you for giving me a head start for this journey I’m taking now. TC mark

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