Exploring Negative Emotions

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I love exploring negative emotions, specifically those that arises from sad and/or helpless situations in life. Being born in Singapore, everyone tries their best to make the safest decisions in life, abiding by the invisible rules that society deems as the norm.

I feel that I can relate to these sad stories the most, having made not the wisest decisions I should. I am born in a developed country, not poor, stupid, or disadvantaged in any aspect at all. I have a perfectly loving and functional family, score good grades and could have gotten by life pretty easily. Yet, I’ve been through living on my own scraping by the few dollars I had, met the worst people and been through the worst situations I can ever imagine, all before I hit 20.

However, I feel that these negative emotions might just be the most treasured in my whole life. Happiness is simple, straightforward and can be derived from the most basic things. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying happiness is easy and it should not be taken for granted. In fact I feel that happiness is best derived from family, quality friends and relationships that requires constant nurturing and giving (Good job if you have these already!).

My point is, these negative emotions come from people making mistakes, mistakes that actually require one to have the guts to take the plunge. Be it quitting that job, leaving that college or simply that stupid mistake you made on one night out. It may lead to hungry days, working in a fast-food joint or going through that abortion that still haunts you till date.

Outsiders may not see this, but it is at your worst, when you feel the need to sit down and go through your emotions one by one. Analysing them, understanding them and just to eventually come to terms with them. You may or not may not learn something from it, but you had the chance to be in such a low point that you know what low is. You have experienced such a low, that other shit just seem so negligible or easily dealt with. You become levelheaded when life comes throwing other shit your way, something that comes with experience. Most importantly, you find your way and work hard to get rid of that emotion and situation

I have made enough mistakes till date, I think I still would make some more, but I definitely do not wish that I had not quit that college, ran away from home, or worked in that dodgy bar that I did.

Kudos to all, who have been broken and survived.

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image – elvissa