Why The 90 Day ‘No Sex’ Rule Might Be The Best Way To Stop Wasting Your Time

Twenty20 / @ivanmarkin
Twenty20 / @ivanmarkin

When it comes to dating in 2017 it can be challenging, frustrating and overwhelming to say the least. There plenty of books, articles, videos and “relationship coaches” who claim to have the answer to all our dating and relationship woes. If you haven’t read or heard of Steve Harvey’s book “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man” the idea of the “90-day rule” was highly debated and publicized. Thus, causing many debates and differing opinions on whether it really works or is it just another concept that someone is trying to sell to profit off of. 

The gist of the “90-day-rule” is this, a woman should wait 90 days before sleeping with a man she thinks she’s really interested in to see if he’s also really interested in her or primarily interested in sex. The notion is that if a man is really interested in who a woman is as a woman then he’ll have the patience to wait because he truly wants to be around her.

During my research of this topic, I’ve found several benefits and drawbacks that are associated with the 90 Day Rule. Here are some pros & cons of the 90- day rule.


1. It Can Weed Out The ‘Wrong People’:

Weeding out the wrong people can sometimes we tough especially when there are “players” who are not always easy to spot.

2. It Can Allow You to Get Know The Person Better:

The 90-day rule allows you to get to know each other and see if you have an emotional connection, which is significant if you want to get into a serious relationship. By waiting 90 days before you get in the “sack”, you get to focus more on finding out things about the other person, and vice versa.

3. It Can Make Those 90 Days More Exciting:

There’s also a sense of excitement that comes with waiting 90 days. There’s the thrill of the forbidden, as you have made your decision clear with him.


1. It Puts Unnecessary Attention On Sex:

The 90-day rule uses sex as some form of service that you owe to your date after they wait a certain amount of time for it. It also makes sex seem like some kind of currency that you exchange for spending on you on dates, giving you attention, and again, waiting.

2. Discussing It Can Be Awkward:

Can Make for an uncomfortable conversation. Sex is already somewhat taboo in our society so bringing up the topic in such a fashion can be a little weird, to say the least.

Final Thoughts

In the end, sex shouldn’t be something you do just because 90 days or 200 days have passed. We should do it whenever we are ready, no matter the number of days. How do you feel about the 90-day rule? Have you tried it? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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