Our self-esteem begins with our thoughts. We begin to gain perspective, becoming aware of the parts we don’t like about ourselves. We start comparing our progresses, our bodies, our minds to other people – who have nothing to do with us! Our mind has been trained to constantly compare our bodies to one another, through social media, television, and advertisements.
I spent a majority of my life hating every part of myself. When I was six-years-old, I developed anorexia nervosa. Six. Years. Old. I was getting bullied at school for being too “fat” and that completely shifted my perspective of myself and started hating every inch of my body. After three years of fighting anorexia, I began to recover. But even past recovery, I still found ways to inch my way back into my eating disorder habits. I started to spit out my food, began skipping meals then binging at night when no one was watching. I started to lose and gain weight due to the constant battle with food and my body. And to be honest, I still continue to have this war years and years later. But only recently did I discover the beauty of loving your body and all the power it comes with it.
I found an online community for body positivity. People of all sizes (even my size!) showing their bodies to the world and loving every inch of themselves – breaking free of that mold we are placed in through society. They stood up and said, “I love myself, flaws and all” and to me, it was the bravest thing anyone can ever do.
But after reading a copious amounts on articles about the diet industry, videos on loving yourself, and podcasts and books about having a relationship with your body, I came to the conclusion that I am absolutely exhausted fighting this battle with myself. That if I granted myself permission to love myself, I would be freed from the suffering.
So today, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m accepting every inch of myself. The bad and the good. I am looking myself in the mirror and no longer saying, “god, I hate the way I look.” No. This body provides almost everything for me. It takes care of me. It protects me. It is a goddess. I am the goddesss of my own life and of my own body.
So cheers to loving ourselves because we are so powerful.