Just So You Know, Self-Love Isn’t Selfish

A smiling woman in sunglasses and a dress stands on a pier holding up peace signs
Hannah Busing / Unsplash

Yesterday, I went to the mall with my sister and best friend. We walked around, ate some food, and I look and see a sign for a sale at Victoria’s Secret. My sister caught me looking at it and asked, “want to go inside?” I hesitated but finally, I pulled it together and said yes.

Look, if it was three years ago, I would’ve been like hell no. I felt insecure in places like VS or any clothing shop for that matter because I always felt “fat” and felt like the odd one out. But this was a milestone for me. I wanted to treat myself to a damn beautiful bra because I deserve it. I splurged on bras and panties, then went to Sephora and got some makeup and this is what self-love is to me.

Self love isn’t selfish.

And it took me forever to realize it. The amount of time I’ve wasted worrying about myself, about my body, about my appearance – I would’ve had a load of memories but I lost them due to self-hatred and low self-esteem.

I don’t love myself completely, but baby steps pull us forward. I respect myself. I listen to my body. I respond to what it needs.

We forget to love ourselves in the process.

It won’t happen overnight, but I’m slowly starting to realize the importance of taking care of myself and loving myself.

Everything else falls into place when you start loving yourself.

Growing up, it was wrong for us to even take the time for ourselves. We are supposed to put others’ needs before ourselves and we just forget about ourselves. But how can you put other people’s needs first if you can’t even take care of yourself?

Take permission to love yourself today. You owe yourself that much. Everything falls into place when you grant yourself permission to love yourself. TC mark

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