It was the final year of my software engineering degree and I’d just taken that sociology class as a GPA-booster. But it was Kate’s first year and sociology was her major. I landed a 9-5 job as a junior programmer at an excellent company and was ready to start delving deeper into adulthood. Kate, however, was younger and needed more time to finish her degree. She was “busy every waking day with school work” and rarely had time for me. It was putting an increasingly heavy strain on our relationship.
“Evan… baby… I’ve been thinking a lot recently. I talked to my mom about it too and she agreed. I think I need to focus on myself for now. This awful tension and obligation I feel to spend time with you isn’t good for my focus. You know I’m trying to get into the masters program and I feel that a relationship isn’t going to help me get there. You’re an incredible guy though, you know that, right? I just need time to grow for myself.”
She pretty much threw the “it’s me, not you” spiel and obliterated my heart. I told her I’d give her all the space she wanted, let her blossom and prosper without my nagging, but she insisted otherwise. After hours of arguing, broken and tearful, I sorrowfully accepted her decision.