Verizon To Drop iPhone From Service After Apple Refuses To Give Out iPads For Entitled Man-Children

New York, NY – After a barrage of complaints made to Verizon after Apple moved to deny the nation’s biggest wireless carrier iPads for their promotional sales, Lowell C. McAdam, CEO of Verizon decided to drop all Apple-made products from their line of service. This affects all 290 million Verizon customers — 145 million of which are using iPhones. Reporters were unable to contact McAdam about this decision because it affected him — as well as many members of the press. Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, took to Twitter to complain about this “level of grandiose mistreatment by a company they thought they were cool with.”

Verizon’s decision comes from outraged consumers who don’t want Google Nexus as their free promotional gift. Angry Verizon loyalist Jacob Hanley explains, “Why should I settle for a [Google] Nexus? If Verizon is the best network in the United States, then we, as their loyal customers, should be getting the best tablet in the market.” It remains to be seen if Apple will lift their sticky stubborn fingers from the iPad sanction to play nice with others.