It’s Ok To Outgrow Your Friends

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Nicholas Green / Unsplash

While the saying goes, friendships aren’t determined by the amount of time you’ve been in each other’s lives, the idea of outgrowing the people around you is actually a good thing.

As people, we are constantly evolving. Changing in age, appearance, mental capacity, and feelings. Some would deem change as scary and unwanted, at least that is what our younger selves mostly tell us when we experienced our first life-changing moment.

We either blossom with change, or we let it consume us and deny it, only allowing it to shrink us down in size. With all of this change, it isn’t likely that the people around us are evolving in the same manner.

You find yourself chatting with your best girl or guy friend, and as they are responding to a situation you’ve just spent 12 minutes expressing to them, you aren’t really appreciating their advice the same as you used to. In that moment, you somehow feel an unwelcoming, and uncomfortable sense of disconnect. As awkward as this very situation can be, it’s an eye-opener to say the very least.

Soon after, your homegirl isn’t hitting you up as often as she used to. When you do talk, the conversation seems less genuine and forced every time. Before you know it, the communication ceases completely and you’re left wondering if you did something wrong or simply accept the fact that they may just be “too busy”.

Which is kind of hard after seeing them post on their IG story with their other friends every other weekend.

Sometimes you have to realize it isn’t you. Just as people grow, they tend to grow apart as well. Don’t beat yourself up, or even think twice about why it happened. Friendships come and go, but the ones who stick around regardless of how much the world around you changes will be there forever.

Don’t harbor on the fallen ones. Focus on the ones who experience the change with you. Focus on the friends that may be going through hell and high water, but remain consistent in checking on you too. Those are the friends you’ll never outgrow.

However, let’s get this one thing straight. There’s no beef between you and the outgrown friends. Maturity means having a clear understanding that your lives are simply different and there is nothing wrong with that. Appreciate the season of life they were in with you and think about the purpose they served at the time.

Friends come and go, but trust that there is such thing as a healthy relationship simply outgrowing itself. TC mark

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