Would You Rather Be The Cookie Cutter Girl Or The Alpha Female?

A giant, noisy, brightly-lit, gaudy carousel, whirling ever faster. People in the darkness beyond, watching and wondering.
Others at the edge, trying to climb aboard. Some who are clinging on precariously, trying not to fall off.
Those who are riding the horses and grinning giddily.
A few who sit in the still centre, sipping champagne.
The observer then looks at the controller’s booth and sees that it is—empty! This is the modern world.
– Anonymous (A friend wrote this)

You are the classic example of an Alpha female, often driven by insecurity and ruling by fear. Since young, you have focused on your achievements, in pursuit of perfection, that sense of satisfaction and achievement. All that gives you the adrenaline high, similar to that which you get after a good run or consuming chocolates. People around you often see you as aloof, unemotional, and unsympathetic. You have grown accustomed to such views. You know you are not aloof – you just find it hard to express your empathy towards others.

You are always planning ahead. In college, you take up additional coursework and attempt to finish your degree in record time, while taking on internships to get you ahead during the summer holidays, while others party on. Unfortunately, such adrenaline highs never last long enough for you to be satisfied with what you have. So you are constantly on the move, constantly chasing after the next achievement, and the next big thing that gives you even more satisfaction. But you never seem satisfied. At work, you find yourself always looking out for the next job; a better title, more money, a bigger challenge. You believe your current job should always take you onto the next job. Otherwise, you wouldn’t bother.

With men, you never ask for their help. You are not one of those girls who needs help moving from place to place or with grocery/shopping bags. As painful and tiring as it may be, your pride and ego as an alpha female disallow you from asking for any help. You’d rather complete everything on your own. For that and many other things, men find you overly stubborn.

At the movies, you constantly tell yourself that these teary movies are fiction and shedding tears would be silly.

After a few years at work, you find yourself having to deal with the increasing dissatisfaction of how things are, and with your own incompetency. You quit your job, convinced that you need further education. You take on another degreebe it the Masters, the MBA or the PhD. You have a need to constantly improve yourself, and to be the best at what you do. Your pursuit of perfection and excellence drives you insane at times. Getting into a prestigious postgraduate degree gives you the instant high, but that adrenaline yet again sinks soon after.

Sometimes, you find yourself wishing that you are in the darkness beyond, watching and wondering about the rest who try to hang onto the path that twirls and swirls one around. Sometimes, you catch yourself wondering if it is better to be a cookie cutter girl rather than an alpha female, and to be satisfied with settling down, accepting help from guys, being loved by someone and getting married. Then, there are other times, you wonder if you would ever get to the still centre, sipping champagne, and be totally satisfied and pacified by life the way it is. TC mark

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Would You Rather Be The Cookie Cutter Girl Or The Alpha Female? is cataloged in , , , , ,
  • Jordan

    Humblebrag.

    On a less sarcastic note, it’s really interesting that lots of people consider “settling down, accepting help from guys, being loved by someone and getting married” as bad things, as if they were all anathema to these other goals.

  • YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU

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    Now watch me YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    (crank that soulja boy)

    Now watch me YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    (crank that soulja boy)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=40304029 André Gooren

    Umm…does the “cookie cutter girl” really ‘exist’ anymore?

  • Woman Friend

    “Since young, you have focused on your achievements, in pursuit of perfection, that sense of satisfaction and achievement. All that gives you the adrenaline high, similar to that which you get after a good run or consuming chocolates. People around you often see you as aloof, unemotional, and unsympathetic. You have grown accustomed to such views. You know you are not aloof – you just find it hard to express your empathy towards others.”

    Hmm, this just spells out that you’re asian. It’s okay though…I’m asian too. PRESSURE!!! Haha

  • Anonymous

    this is interesting. i think the binary between ‘cookie cutter’ and ‘alpha female’ is somewhat false though – which i guess leaves you with the cliche solution of finding a ‘balance’ between (and in that perhaps transcending) your two archetypes.

  • Anonymous

    Hint: the earth isn’t engineered for satisfaction with the life you build. 

  • Random

    I thought this was decently written, but the sentiment makes me want to slap some sense in you for being a tool.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think “cookie cutter girls” exist in California.  I hear they’re found in the Mid-West.

    • Cockyrocky

      why, because California people are “edgy” and “cool”? fuckin’ loser.

      • birdie16

        i rolled my eyes at modedossier when i read that too. 

    • birdie16

      oh god, get over yourself. 

  • ME

    This frustrates me purely because I am a blend of both. I have a summer internship, great grades, and I plan to settle down and get married some day. My boyfriend described me as a hyperemotional creature once, and he also says that I’m one of the most driven to succeed people he’s ever met.

    I don’t want to be either of the things you listed; I want to be a healthy, functioning woman

    • Rachel Bangser

      TRUE THAT, SISTER. I spent a year bawling my eyes out to a counselor just to figure out that I can be driven, motivated, and inspired…while still maintaining emotions and happy feelings and other things that are “normal” and wonderful etc.

      There’s nothing even close to the “alpha girl/cookie cutter” dichotomy the author is talking about. We all lie somewhere on the spectrum.

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    WHAT THE HELL DOES THE PICTURE AND POEM HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING

    in other news, i related to 75% of this. this made me feel good because i like relating to people about things.

  • guest

    of course the powerful woman must most often be driven by insecurity

  • Tristan

    ugh how can you write a whole article full of details about being an “alpha female” and then dismiss ALL other personality types as being “cookie cutter”? like how on earth does that make sense at all? i was reading this article expecting you to express what you think being a “cookie cutter” girl means, but i was pretty disappointed to get nothing at the end. this whole thing reads like a giant pat on the back that you don’t necessarily deserve. 

    • Cockyrocky

      the author has a shitty perspective on her life, so she is projecting it onto other girls.

    • Guest

      Yeah, this article is pretty self-congratulatory. The author shrouds their pride in fake pain, so that people will comment and say shit like, “You might work too hard, but you’re better than those other girls!”

  • xra

    it’s probably more dopamine than adrenaline

  • http://twitter.com/dianasof Diana Z.

    Why does it have to be one or the other?? That’s the beauty about being an actual real person, you don’t have to choose just one.
    Also, cookie cutter girl?? What does that even mean? Is it seriously just anything an alpha female isn’t?

  • Anonymous

    Well, considering you didn’t write this the way I would’ve written it, I’m gonna have to give you a negative brownie point. xx

  • Michael Lynch

    This might sound harsh but you seem way too uptight. If this is genuinely how you feel, you should seriously drink more and / or smoke some weed. I know that sounds so cliche but losing some control over yourself or thinking in a different state of mine could likely help you see yourself in new light.

    • guest

      SERIOUSLY

  • Jami234

    i loved it. finally someone gets me.

    • FOOFOO

      LOL

  • Guest

    I love how this writer thinks they’re making some special choice to be a working woman…no offense, but it’s 2011, and the cookie-cutter woman is a WORKING woman.

    Also, sentence 2 is already grammatically incorrect, and the rest of this is badly written as well. 

  • Guest

    ” You know you are not aloof – you just find it hard to express your empathy towards others.”

    Or you’re probably just aloof.

  • guest

    The fact that you think that women are broken into either go-getters or boring cookie-cutter girls is an insult to your own gender.

  • Guest

    it’s funny because the “alpha females” are cookie cutter girls themselves. They are all boring and arrogant.

  • Guest

    it’s funny because the “alpha females” are cookie cutter girls themselves. They are all boring and arrogant.

  • Anonymous

    “Sometimes, you catch yourself wondering if it is better to be a cookie cutter girl rather than an alpha female, and to be satisfied with settling down, accepting help from guys, being loved by someone and getting married.”

    I look forward to the day that all women are capable of loving and being happy with the choice to be a career woman just as much as they respect another woman’s choice to have a fulfilling family life. Or, you know, realize that they’re not mutually exclusive.

    This blind hatred/mockery of domesticity is just as demeaning and counterproductive as the same attitude society used to hold for women who wanted to be professionals. It’s ugly and catty and, quite frankly, screams insecurity.

  • guest

    Wow, a lot of hate for this article! I liked it though! I think I’ll be sipping champagne in the center of all of this at some point.

  • betty goddam crocker

    I want a cookie now.

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