This Is Why I Chose You

You were the easiest and hardest choice I’d made in a long time.

Hard, because for so long I was used to the dark side of love. I was used to pining for the simple things – love and affection – and left empty handed every time. I had become used to rejection and the scars on my heart calloused me in a way that they’d wrapped around it like a vine, choking the joy out of me until I’d become content with never being happy. You came into my life at a time that I’d never thought I could love or be loved, trust or dream, want or be wanted, ever again.

Easy, because as quiet and closed up as you were, you still allowed your heart to peek through. And what I saw, what I felt, left me wanting more. You were gentle in a way that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. You wanted to touch me – but not just in the places that were on the surface. You wanted my hurt. You wanted my hardships. You wanted my heart…even as it was strewn across the floor in pieces.

You’ve patiently picked up the pieces and put it back together.

You picked up the baggage I’d warned you about, and you’ve carried it while we’ve navigated life together. You’ve endured the frustration of rewiring a broken woman with a grace I never knew existed. You’ve lived with the comparisons to the hurt I was used to, and slowly replace it with the peace that relief can bring. You’ve shown me a different way to live and love and you’ve given me the comfort and space I needed to find myself again. You’ve allowed me the opportunities to tell you how I feel and rose to the occasion time and time again.

You have made me realize that my space in this world matters.

I can take my healing and recovery seriously because I know that you’ll catch me when I fall. Love can be an addiction, but with you, love is motivation. Motivated by the promise of a future that I’d never before been able to envision. Motivated by peace that I feel, knowing that I am safe and secure in your arms and heart – a place I want to reside. You tell me you’ll always be here and I can believe you. Believe in you. Believe in us. And, ultimately, believe in living again.

As I become the woman I’ve always wanted to be, my gratitude for you grows daily. I thank God for you every day, a respite from the darkness I’d lived in for so long. I know that every day I’ve lived to get to the moment that we’d come together, and every day we’ve been together every day we’ll be together.

You were the hardest and easiest choice I’ve ever made…and you’ve been the right choice ever since.