The struggle can be real…so real that you can’t stand it. So real that you can’t stand up because you feel stuck. Stuck in depression, desperation, despair. I want you to know, it’s NOT in your head. It doesn’t define you. You can and will move forward.
Give yourself the grace and mercy to feel what you’re feeling. The pain you’ve felt is not a mere story you tell yourself. It’s easy for others to dismiss it as such but you know what you feel isn’t just a story. It consumes you like a hungry fire, searching for oxygen, enveloping you in the pain of living. On these days, living, breathing, simple tasks like opening your eyes, can be difficult and doesn’t seem worth it. I know that feeling. I’ve been in that space. You are not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you can’t feel this hurt. But allow yourself to have the hope that you can rise again from this.
It’s not easy to hold on to hope when you feel your life slipping from your grasp. But dig your nails in and swing from its ledge. It will not crumble and let you fall. Hold on to the belief that things can change. That they WILL change. Whether you believe in something higher than yourself (God, the Universe, a Creator of some sort, etc), or whether you simply believe in yourself, hold on to that belief that you are worthy of being saved. Even if the only one to save you is yourself. Even in the darkness, where it’s hardest to believe this, when it’s hardest to believe because the pain is so thick, I beg you to hold on anyway because you are worth the effort. You are worth fighting for.
I hope you know that your space in this world matters. If you don’t believe anything else, know that. You are worthy simply because you are here. You are the personification of unabashed effort, faith and love. You can get through the darkest of hours to reach your clearing where peace resides. A peace that not only surpasses all understanding, but can replace the pain that you have felt for so long that you don’t know that there’s another, better way. Know that you are worth holding on to and for. You are worth the time you need to take for your mercy, grace, sanity…you are worth having the time you need to see your worthiness. And you are worth the journey it takes to get to your peace.
On your darkest days…in your darkest hours…hold on my dear. Your time is coming.