He was supposed to be your forever.
He certainly felt like it. He was supposed to be the basket you could put all your eggs in. He felt like home. He was the most comfortable sweater in your closet. His breath was air. His heartbeat your favorite song, in sync with yours always. He promised you that you’d never be alone again and you believed him because his arms were your security blanket and you felt safe.
Nobody told you that forever could have a time limit.
As quickly as he entered your life, he disappeared like your breath in the cold. Suddenly he is a memory. The air is thick with weight of broken promises and you are standing in the storm that your sorrow creates, soaking in the grief. Absorbing the insecurity that remains – that you weren’t good enough. That you did something wrong. That something is wrong with you. You think you can’t recover – that love is a fickle lie that you fell for. The foolishness of your infatuation where you lost yourself – and you send out no search party to look for.
In this moment, you must remember that you are your forever.
The numbness you feel can be melted away with the warmth of your spirit. You can feel again. Into this world you came, a spirit inhabiting a vessel, that you use to navigate this life. You were whole before him. You are not broken even if it feels that you are. You may have left yourself behind but as long as you can breathe you can go back and find her. She is not gone forever.
Magic exists outside the borders of his eyes. It’s woven into the strands of your hair like braids. It’s beads of sweat on your skin and in the tears that stream down your face, cleansing your soul. Your beauty does not live and die in his approval. You are not irretrievably broken. You are not unfixable or unlovable. Your pain is valid and understandable but you must remember in this moment that it too, shall pass.
Nobody can complete you, but you.
The holes inside you cannot be sewn up with the skin of another. When you let go of the idea that somebody else completes you, you open yourself up to the possibility of healing. God will not put another person in your life to complete you, but He will to compliment you. You are whole by yourself, even when scattered in pieces like a puzzle. You can be put back together again, but you have to want to be complete again. You have to want to be whole again, even if that means you are alone. He may have promised to never leave you, but in your loneliness you can remember your strength. In your solitude you can gather yourself like firewood and set your sadness on fire so that your soul can rise from the ashes like the Phoenix and you can fly again…like you did before you met him. Like you did while you were with him. Like you will do again without him.
Your magic exists in your capacity to get up in the morning and answer your call to live. On the days where it’s hardest to do so, believe in your magic. Believe in yourself. Your time is coming.