You like the idea of you being toxic, don’t you? You are enthralled with the idea of having that invigorating kind of dominion over someone. You think it’s powerful to affect her in the most poisonous of ways and you are very much addicted to the turbulent tendencies of toxic relationships – but only if you are the cause of the storms.
You cry your eyes out, trying to appear apologetic for your faux corruption, because it makes you feel all the more toxic, destructively powerful.
It gives you a different kind of kick. And I hate to burst your happy little bubble of toxicity but dear, you are not as powerful as you think you are.
Let me tell you a secret: it’s all in your head.
You fabricate your memories and indulge in your make-believe exploits. You daydream of the ways to destroy a person too much on the verge of fooling your own self. You think poison is laced on your fingertips, and that when you touch people, you contaminate their souls. You love the thought of destroying someone with your very own hands. But dear, you are too ambitious for your own good. Because truth is, toxic people know nothing of who they are. They are not conscious of their lethal existence. And the fact that you know, means you aren’t. So stop thinking you are – it doesn’t make you look grand. If anything, it makes you ugly, trying so hard.