You are having an eternal battle with your emotions tonight and it pains me to see you struggling with the sickening discrepancy of what you are and what they expect you to be. The whimpering voices echo loudly against the thin walls and guttural pleas pierce through the coldness of the night. And the crippling agony of your being is more than you can take.
The mind of the lonely flourishes the most at dawn, when the night just ended and the day is just about to bloom—as if the toxic thoughts are in a haste to be freed into the consciousness, racing a thousand miles through those few desperate minutes before the sun rises and sanity finally catches up.
The flaws you see when you look at the mirror are the reflections of what people want you believe you are. You might want to do all sorts of horrible things to make those blemishes go away but dear, you don’t have to. I know your pain and I know you are fighting with all the strength of your heart.
I know you want to creep into your bed at night and hide under your skin. The weight of the day is too much to handle and sometimes you just want to shut the world and bury yourself inside your own cavern, alone with your self-deprecating voices. You think the toxic thoughts inside your head are yours but dear, they are not. Those thoughts are the shadows of the people who want to pin you down because they know deep inside their souls, that in reality, your mind is such a beautiful paradise. And they are not prepared to witness its beauty because after all, people are afraid of the unknown.
So let me tell you something: You are worth more than your flaws and you have to realize this soon.
You are beautiful and loved and substantial. You are not toxic, my dear friend. Your strong personality and unconquerable willpower only seem lethal to those who do not know how to handle a queen. To believe that you have to stitch up your tattered edges and polish your unrefined flaws, out of fear that these parts of you that you think are grotesque might chase the people you love away and give them a reason to leave you, is actually to believe that the moon is somber and unlovely when it holds the shape of any phase other than full.
Stop telling yourself that you are lost. It’s okay to be lost. People don’t always have to be found.
Sometimes they can just stay where they are and continue to seek the beauty of uncertainty in their journey without any destination at all. Sometimes that is where the true substance of life abides. I know you think you are scarred and ugly and broken. But you see, we break sometimes and we bear scars here and there and it’s okay. Scars make us beautifully human. Wear them as remembrance of the battlefields you have conquered through the years. Do not let other people tell you otherwise. Do please heed me.
Take care of the body that holds your lovely soul and be careful of the heart that’s beating inside your chest.
Do not suppress your own glory. Let your own heartbeat resound louder and louder until it devours the noise of those who wish for your ultimate downfall.
Dear, you are diamond. Do not let other people smother your brilliance. Please know that there is enough chaos in this disheveled world we’re living in, but all is still beautiful—as long as you dwell in it.