Life after college is different for everyone. Some pursue grad school, and there are those who brave the real world. And I fall into the latter.
To be brutally honest it’s not as I expect, no major changes occurred. I didn’t magically turn into a sophisticated, independent woman. I then later learned it doesn’t happen overnight. But what changed is my perspective. I wanted a life with a purpose.
I wasn’t as care-free as I was in college. I began to be watchful of “what-am-I-doing” I developed this post-grad syndrome that I believe a lot of us have gone through (or so I hope for the sake of my sanity). There are many symptoms of this affliction; one of them is anxiety and the constant fear unknown. I just have to know about everything that’s going on. I needed to make sure that I’m at the right path, right place, right work, everything just has to be RIGHT for the next big thing to happen. Yes, I’m anxiously waiting for the next big thing.
I’m waiting to become a perfect, unrealistic version of myself which only seem to add up to my pile of frustrations. It just feels like I’m way behind where I am supposed to be. I remember thinking that at this point of my life I would actually be starting a career, not jumping from one interview to another to see what sparks my heart. Sometimes I ask the dreaded “What if” that maybe if I’ve done (or do) something differently I can finally find inner peace and self-contentment that I greatly yearn for.
Getting a degree was supposed to be a security blanket. But realizing there are so many things I can do with my life is just too OVERWHELMING. Being bombarded with all these choices and opportunities just to make the wrong one is devastating. Starting a career is not an easy true or false question. You actually have to let go of some just to leave room for some more. And you know what they forgot to tell us in college, that No having a degree is not good enough.
You actually have to have real work experience. And being a student nurse and those 24 hours a week hospital hours doesn’t count as real life experience. I realized despite spending 4 years mastering the art and science of taking care of people I am still not qualified to do that, a licensure exam was the defining factor. And for my friends who took up different courses, unfortunately they too can’t apply for CEO and GM positions (Yes, even if they graduated with Latin honors). So I guess graduating from college is just the first step.
As a post-grad, we all have to start at the bottom but at least now I know that the only way is up. I guess I just have to accept that some plans are not how it goes. And to stop wishing that time will just fly out the window just to end my “waiting game.”
Our willingness to wait tells the value we put to what we are waiting for, like how the saying goes “All great things are worth the wait”. Wait but not anxiously, Enjoy every moment of your life. Stop worrying about tomorrow you got tomorrow to worry for that. BE HAPPY, ALWAYS! We survived University, we will probably survive this. #BRINGITONNNN!!!
And another saddening thing about being a post-grad, is the amount of time I spend with my friends which is close to non-existent (unless you end up being roomies). It’s not as easy as seeing each other after class, or having a class together. The inevitable reality kicks in. Everyone becomes caught up with their life. And for a few who seems to be stagnant at the moment they avoid this little reunions.
Ashamed that they’re few steps behind but TRUST ME, WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY. And talk about shame and embarrassment, Remember the time your friend was pulling your hair while you puke in the bathroom or when you had to be wheelchaired out the room. That’s worse.
Life is a race and we just have to keep running. Stop comparing our pace with others after all it’s our race to finish. Putting all that out there I guess I am ready for my post-grad life to begin. I can finally hashtag #adulting!