5 Everyday Struggles Of Being The ‘Together’ Friend

Being the one who constantly has your act together comes with its own set of issues, as does everything.

1. Not being able to relate to a majority of your peers. This isn’t to say that you have nothing in common with your friends but it can be difficult to take Amy’s “Which shirt should I wear tonight?” texts seriously when you’re deciding between grad schools. While some of your friends are more relaxed about how they spend their free time, you are an ambition pumping, schedule setting queen of determination.

2. Feeling like you have to dumb yourself down in certain situations. Don’t get me wrong, we’re so down to discuss Pretty Little Liars in great detail, especially when it comes to the revealing of A. (Seriously? Cece is Charles?! What?!) But you can’t deny that certain trivial conversations bore you to no end, especially when it’s discussing the same teenage gossip day-in and day-out. How are you supposed to discuss literature with a friend who confuses Moby Dick and Charles Dickens?

3. Feeling helpless when it comes to helping and motivating your friends. My mom once told me “You can’t force someone to want to better themselves.” She was right. I have a number of friends who desperately want to get their lives on track and are forever reiterating the same list of goals they want to accomplish, and yet, never take any steps to achieve these. This isn’t to bash anyone, as everyone has their own path and move at their own speed but when certain things seem so easy to you it’s hard not to want to scream, “Just do it! It’s easy!.”

4. The struggle of constantly wanting to be “perfect.” It may come easier to some people than others but balancing a multitude of tasks is always difficult; it becomes slightly more difficult when you’re so used to be able to do it successfully. Remember being ten years old and going trick or treating? House after house, you received a piece of chocolate or candy but then there was that one older women on the block who dropped a box of raisins into your plastic jack-o-lantern styled candy holder. That’s what it feels like when to always be on your game and then suddenly drop the ball.

5. The depressing “Quality vs. Quantity” battle when it comes to friendships. As you get older, you inevitably drift apart from people but you also meet new people along the way; you may even develop even stronger relationships with long-time friends. However, there’s always a friend or group of friends that you’ve been squading up with for years who you begin to feel you’re only friends with because you’ve been friends with for so long. It’s best to realize that you’re allowed to grow and have separate groups of friends.

You can stay friends with Jessica whose main source of conversation comes from make-up and breakups with her boyfriend, just because she’s a loyal friend who you love, who agrees with you that pizza and wine does indeed count as a gourmet meal, but still distance yourself enough to have time for new friends that are on the same path you are.