I used to be cold. I used to deny my feelings, I used to ghost.
I had a boyfriend when I was 17; where I used to pay for all of our bills while we were out on dates, I used to pay for all of our movie passes, and I was the one who was always driving for us.
I used to think that love was enough, that I could look past this, and that I could get over being treated like this.
We were on and off for about four years – the last two years of which were spent on complete and utter confusion about where we stood; we were already unofficial, and we were always on the verge of calling it quits. I knew in my gut that I wanted more, but I was too afraid to let go, to even try to look for someone better. I knew he loved me the best way he could, but sometimes, love just isn’t enough. I used to bail out on him plenty of times, avoiding him, and totally ghosting on him because I was fed up.
I knew I deserved better.
And then I met my game changer. He picks me up, and drops me home. If he doesn’t pay for the entirety of the bill, he offers to split it up. He makes plans. He makes arrangements. He treats me like any person would treat their significant other – he treats me like I’m royalty. My family loves him probably half as much as I do. Of course we’ve had a couple of arguments, petty fights, but we always managed to move past it. I never have to worry about driving for the both of us ever again. He was the one I used to read about on those cheesy articles, he possessed all of the traits that I was looking for.
He filled the empty space. He taught me how to love again. He taught me how to forgive.
My game changer made me realize a lot of things, that I shouldn’t settle, and there are far better people out there. He and our relationship made me realize that you should go after what you want, and what you deserve.
You shouldn’t settle for something that makes you feel iffy, that makes you feel odd. You shouldn’t settle when you know it isn’t enough. Wait for the one who is willing to treat you better. Wait for the one who will make you realize that life does get better.
Or better yet, instead of waiting for them, go look for them.
This dating game is a whole bunch of trials and errors, and you should go explore and experiment. See what the world has to offer. Go after the one who makes you feel brand new.