My Wife Puts Another Man Before Me, And I’m Okay With It

My wife is constantly putting another man before me. He’s a lot older than I am, somehow always provides her comfort in her time of need, and continues to give her wisdom that surpasses anything I could possibly comprehend.

He’s kind, generous, loving, graceful, forgiving, strong,  just, merciful, and even patient. He’s probably the definition of what most would call the perfect man, and there is no way I can possibly compete with him. The reality is, I’m okay with it. His name is Jesus, and he is hands down the most important part of our marriage. It’s only because of him that we know the definition of true love.

I know what you’re thinking: “Jarrid, that’s extremely corny.” But you’d be surprised to know how many “Christian marriages” actually struggle in this area of their relationship. It’s the core ingredient to any thriving Christian relationship.

The Reality

As a Christian and husband, It is my duty to lead our household towards the crux of the cross. This means to put that of Christ before me, or anyone else for that matter. It is by the purpose of Jesus that I love, forgive, lead, and serve in every way. The closer I am to the true person of Christ, the better husband and man I can be to my wife and others.

“If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison–your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters–yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.” –Luke 14:26

The Bible has a lot to say about the importance of honoring one’s family. The context of Luke 14:26 may seem harsh, but it is truly the call of anyone who calls themselves a Christ follow. In this passage, Jesus’ call to hate both family and self is a call to reject self. I am to encourage my wife to put the person of Jesus before me and my desires, and I am to put the person of Jesus before my wife and her desires.

In doing this, the attributes of both my wife and I will reflect that of Jesus within the confines of our marriage, fulfilling one another in every way. Additionally, husbands are told to “love your wife, as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25).

With that being said, loving Jesus should always be one’s first priority, even within the inner-workings of a marriage.

Anyone who doesn’t encourage his or her spouse to put Jesus before them is a stranger to the cross.