30 Things Gay Men Need To Realize Before They Turn 30

1. Get over being “masculine.”

I understand the importance of physical attraction. But the notion of effeminate vs. masculine is so silly. Start accepting people for who they are.

P.S. Two alpha males are never going to get along.

2. You have balls. Use them.

Go for what you want. There is no such thing as failure or rejection.

3. Let go of your “huge ego.”

Vulnerability is key. Once you set your ego aside and become vulnerable your life will change. Ego and confidence are not one in the same. We appreciate confidence, not an ego.

4. Curiosity did not kill the cat.

Ask questions. Be inquisitive.

5. Get involved.

Community engagement is so rewarding and powerful. Take an hour or two a month and volunteer, or help spread the word about a cause you relate to.

6. Embrace change.

Quit bitching and do something about it. Take the leap.

7. Nothing good comes from gossip.

Stop doing it, don’t be a part of it, and do not spread it. If someone is not there to tell their story, than no one else should tell it for them. Walk away- or be an asshole.

8. Express yourself.

Do not be afraid of trying new things. I understand boundaries, but don’t knock something before you try it.

9. Use your words.

Communication is key- in everything. Do not fear it, embrace it. I encourage everyone to take a course in Interpersonal Communication.

10. Dating is about learning.

You learn about people, yourself, good places to go, new food, and what makes you tick romantically.

11. Relationships fail.

This is something I know for sure. Take what you learned and move on.

12. Bros before schmoes.

Maintain your friendships. They are two-way streets. If a guy comes between you and a friend. Choose the friend. If not, when the guy bails, you’ll be guyless and friendless.

13. Your friends are a reflection of you.

My mother always said, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

14. It’s just stuff.

Get over material things and possessions.

15. The past is the past.

What’s done is done. Get over it. Live in the now and focus on the future. Baggage is simply for traveling.

16. You won’t like everyone and everyone wont like you.

This was so hard for me to comprehend, but once I did, it changed my life. It’s okay not to be liked and like. Always be respectful, though. Quit trying so hard. Be yourself.

17. Remember forgiveness.

This needs to be part of your guiding principles. We all make mistakes. Yes- all of us. Quit holding onto what happened. Think about the why, not the what. And then forgive.

18. Meet new people.

Your group of friends is great, but there are so many people in this world. Say hi to people. Give them a compliment. Don’t be afraid of meeting someone new who might have a different perspective.

19. Online dating should only be 25%.

I recently met someone who said they only meet guys via sites and apps. Foolish! Think about what you like doing and what types of things you enjoy doing with someone else. Thats where you’ll meet him.

20. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

I first heard this in second grade. It’s a cliche, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.

21. Find the common denominator.

When you start bitching about your ex(s) and guys you have dated, just think about what they ALL had in common. YOU. What are you doing and what can you do differently?
When you see crazy- cross the street.

22. Just read #21 again and avoid drama.

Okay, let’s move on.

23. Believe in love.

It is alive and well. Open yourself up to it. If you feel you are incapable or sacred of it, see a therapist. I did. Best money I have ever spent.

24. Learn self-awareness.

Know who you are and what you want. Own it. Be honest with yourself. Do not try and be someone you’re not.

25. Don’t give into peer pressure.

Never let anyone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do. Always follow your intuition.

26. Sit at the table.

This is an opportunity most will miss. When you have the option to be heard, take it. Weather you are giving your insight or asking questions, always sit at the table.

27. Never disappoint yourself.

We are so worried about what others will think and they’re acceptance. Forget that. Your opinion of yourself is all that matters.

28. Get to the root of it.

Look beyond the surface of a situation. It is never about what they say it is about. Nothing is ever solved at surface level.

29. He’s just not that into you.

You’ll know when he is. You will also know when he is not. This is something you have to admit to yourself. When you realize he is not, move on. It wasn’t meant to be, and you deserve someone who wants to be with you.

30. Stand for something.

One of my favorite first date questions is: “What are your passions?” Do you know how many guys can answer this question? Very few. There is no right or wrong answer. Take a moment and really think about what you stand for. TC mark

image – Flickr/seeminglee

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