After we broke up, a lot of smoke started to rise about why our relationship truly ended. Side hoes, flings, online cheating and other gossip added elephants to the room that we had already left.
But then one major truth was revealed to me. It was something that everyone claimed came straight from my ex’s poisoned mouth: All along, throughout the whole relationship, he still had feelings for his ex (which is why he never really poured it all in).
I don’t know if I am more like Calvin Harris or Tom Hiddleston in this whole situation, while my ex is already swifting his way from bed to bed. Calvin Harris, because after we broke up, my ex was so hyped to move on that he already had someone else in his front seat. Tom Hiddleston, because during the relationship, I was emotionally cheated on. I was the rebound (and there’s a great chance Hiddleston might also be).
Society thinks being a rebound is a hurtful phenomenon that could happen to anyone in the dating world. I agree with society but then, I do not let it control how I live my life right now. There’s no use moping or pondering about it forever. It’s done. It’s over. But for what it is worth, here are a few things I realized after two hours of listening to “moving on” albums:
First, I might have been the rebound, but I figured out that I was the better person. I am the survivor. Although my ex did not give me the type of love that I deserved, I still gave that Taylor Swift disciple everything I could offer. It might sound hopelessly romantic, but really, it pays when you loved truly. It might not be now or in ways you expect, but God (or if you’re an atheist, the Universe) has their own way of returning everything you invested to that douche named *insert you ex’s name here*. Be hopeful. There’s more to life than living with unappreciative jerks.
Second, be proud, because you had the decency and respect to treat the relationship like a real one. My ex might’ve thought about it as his playground, but since I still have my values intact, I treated our relationship as a commitment. Stick to your values. Do not let others dictate how you should think about yourself. Always have this in your soul: integrity. It’s an enormous quality that is less common than common sense.
Third, you might be the rebound, but you can still strive to be the best person that you can be. Do not let your ex or their immature actions thwart you from achieving your goals. Yes, your ex might end up with their ex or with some other victim. Let them be happy so you can be happier. It is not your fault if they want to downgrade. Let them live their life. Let them chase each other’s tails while you become the head.
Junk the thought that you are a rebound. You no longer are. For now, give your heart a break after the gruesome heartbreak. Breathe in the winds of change and start to walk your own path. Live your own life, because yesterday’s sun has already set.
Lastly, count the lessons you have learned and not the number of times you cried over the douche. You need to move on. Everybody needs you to be strong. You do not need your emotional baggage at this point. Wake up! You have to get up and grab those opportunities you have lost because of that failed relationship. It’s time to make you and your dreams fly again. Now, slay!