1. If either of us calls, the other will answer. We text pretty frequently, but if one of us is calling, there’s usually a reason. I will drop what I’m doing to answer the phone.
2. No cell phones during shared meals. We see each other so infrequently with busy lives, that when we do get together, we’re present in the moment for those few hours.
3. Come together, leave together.
4. No petty debts. Five bucks here and there doesn’t matter, what does matter is that we help each other and make each other’s lives easier.
5. Iron Circle. If a serious conversation comes up (hardships, etc), you don’t say anything to anyone outside of the circle. They’re trusting you with that and opening up. You respect that level of trust as if you were a therapist.
6. “We need to go” means we leave now.
7. We watch each other’s drinks.
8. I can make fun of you in your face, but never behind you.
9. No dating a friend’s ex.
10. If your buddy invites a person he’s into to hang out with you and your friends, it’s now your job to make your friend look good. Set up some jokes for him, make him look and feel his best while she’s around.
11. Hold hands when we move through crowds so we don’t lose each other.
12. Always make sure we can see each other clearly when we go out to clubs.
13. Never go after anyone your friend has shown a clear interest in.
14. Given a certain problem, only one bro is allowed to panic. The other bro needs to be calming and optimistic. Roles are interchangeable.
15. Always try to keep menstrual products around in case someone visiting may need them.
16. Make sure everyone is fine with how they look in a picture before posting it on social media.
17. Hate whoever your best friend hates. For me this is a pretty set rule. My bff hates her parents (they’re really abusive) and even though they’ve never done anything to me, I will side with her in any conversation she’s having with them and if I need to lie to them to do that, I will.
18. Certain things need no explanation. If someone has a known difficulty and they start to explain a decision or behavior that brings it up, that’s as far as it needs to go. “Sorry I didn’t make your birthday, I was trying to hold onto some cash for it and-” “Say no more mate, not a problem.” If they chose to then expand on it, it’s because they need to.
19. If someone signs up for a streaming service, the login info is shared.
20. Always respect a bro’s pet/pets. They’re your bros too.
21. Beer is usually an acceptable currency.
22. If a long time goes by before we speak, it’s totally cool.
23. No one walks by themselves in a group. If for some reason you find yourself in the back just holler and someone will immediately drop back.
24. Not talking/socializing with people who have somehow hurt the others in the past (kind of the enemy of my friend is my enemy).
25. My literal brother and I have a rule that no matter what the story either person tells, the other will ALWAYS back them up. Guy runs up to me at a party: “Your bro just said that when he was 11 he jumped your parent’s car on his bicycle while eating a Big Mac!”
Me: “Yep, it was amazing”
26. Every call, text, or email gets a response.
27. If you borrow your friend’s truck you ALWAYS return it with a full tank of gas.
28. No stealing each others’ best karaoke songs.
29. We always tell each other the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable.
30. If you’re drinking and your friend says something really embarrassing, like “I made out with my sister” or ” I’m a Furry,” then it’s your job to spend the rest of your life pretending you were too drunk to remember anything from that night.