1. He refuses to take the next step with you. Maybe you’ve been bugging them about moving in together or proposing or having babies — and they haven’t been budging. Everyone moves at their own pace and you have to respect your partner’s choices, but if you’ve been together for years and they don’t seem interested in any of the things you want, it’s a red flag. If they’re not ready now, they should at least be willing to tell you when they will be ready. Maybe their procrastination is actually a sign you aren’t on the same page after all. Maybe they’re not waiting to take the next step with you. Maybe they don’t want to take it at all.
2. You keep coming close to breaking up — and then staying together anyway. Every couple has arguments. Every couple goes through rough patches. But if you keep coming close to a breakup (or actually break up and then get back together again), then you have to ask yourself what’s going on. If you want to be together, you should work through your problems instead of calling it quits. You shouldn’t be having the same problems over and over again, either. If you’re repeating fights every few months, that means you never solved the initial problem. Either come to a compromise or leave for real this time.
3. You’re only together because of your long, elaborate history. If you have your heart set on having a husband and kids, then you probably won’t want to walk away from a serious relationship. After all, you’re this close to settling down permanently. Why would you want to start dating someone new and go back to square one? However, this mindset can be dangerous. You shouldn’t stay with someone, simply because you have a history. Besides, are you really closer to marriage with them? If they aren’t interested in settling down now, they might never be. You might be wasting more time with them. You might be better off breaking up so you can find your real forever person.
4. You’re too different. Opposites attract, but you don’t want to stay with someone who has a completely different set of morals and goals for the future. If they want to be living abroad in five years and you want to stay in your hometown, it’s a problem. If they want to have babies and you aren’t interested in becoming a parent, it’s a problem. It’s fine to date someone with different plans for the future than you, but marrying them is another story. You need to want the same things if you’re going to stay together forever. Otherwise, you’re only setting yourselves up for disappointment.
5. You’re not interested in settling down yet. Maybe you’re the one who isn’t interested in marriage. Maybe you love this person but feel like you haven’t gotten enough life experience yet. Maybe you want to date more people. Maybe you want to be single for a while. Maybe you want to try new things — and that’s okay. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to marry them. Marriage requires a whole lot more than just feelings.