5 Reasons Your Love Life Feels Stale (That Are Completely Your Fault)
1. You’ve been making moves that are imperceptibly small. You might feel frustrated about your crush failing to pick up on your signals — but you have to ask yourself whether you’ve actually been sending clear signals. Could he mistake your kindness for friendship? Could he be overlooking the little things you’ve been doing that feel like such a big deal to you? Even though you might feel like you’ve been obvious about your feelings, some people are oblivious. They need you to spell it out for them. Before you write off someone you have strong chemistry with, you might want to push a little harder. Be a little more blunt about what you want from them. Make sure they know how you feel, without a doubt in their mind.
2. You’ve been running away as soon as things get real. You’re never going to be in a longlasting relationship if you can’t handle commitment. It’s scary to settle down with someone, but you need to resist the urge to run as soon as someone says I love you or invites you to meet their parents or talks about moving in together. If you can’t picture the relationship lasting, it’s okay to leave before taking such big steps. But sometimes, you might want to give the person a chance. Don’t assume it’s all going to fall apart eventually. Don’t rush to hurt them before they can hurt you. Give them a shot. See what happens if you stick around.
3. You’re chasing after the wrong people. You’re letting history repeat itself. You’re getting your hopes up over a specific type of person (who is never going to treat you right), realizing you deserve better, deciding to move on, and then falling into the same trap you entered the last time. You have to stop getting swept up by the same fuckboy moves. You have to stop falling for the same type of players who aren’t ready to commit to anyone, no matter how perfect they are. You need to raise your standards. It’s not enough to look for someone slightly better than your last love. Look for someone who blows everyone else out of the water.
4. You’re trying to replicate the love stories you’ve seen in movies and books. You have to stop expecting the unobtainable. Stop assuming you’re going to find a fictional character who has come to life. Make sure you keep your standards high, but also remember real people are flawed. Real people aren’t always going to say the right things or wrap their arm around you at the right time. Relationships will be a little more messy and sex will be a little more clumsy, and that’s okay.
5. You’re keeping yourself completely closed off. As much as you might want someone to chase you, if you tell them no, they’re going to walk away. You can’t expect them to stay and fight for you when you make it clear you aren’t interested. If you want a relationship, you need to let down your walls a little. You need to allow someone into your heart. If you keep it blocked off, then there’s nothing the people around you can do. No matter how much they like you, they’re going to let you go.