1. Knew a girl who fucked Zac Efron. Had to sign an NDA. Told me he wasn’t all that great in bed, ie the fantasy was better than the reality. Still fanboyed over him hard apparently.
2. A friend of a friend slept with Shawn Mendes. Apparently it wasn’t something to write home about…
3. Girl I know slept with G Eazy in 2015 before he was really big… He gave her chlamydia.
4. I hooked up with Zoey Deschanel in 2005. I was a bit of a premature Pete, but she was really sweet about it and I got her a cab after.
5. Friend of mine slept with Rob Pattinson shortly after Twilight was a thing. She grew up with him, so when he made it big she made it her goal to get into his pants. She said it wasn’t anything special. He was kinda meh about the encounter.
6. My ex dated Russell Brand. Unsurprisingly she said he was kinky in bed but very respectful.
7. Tom from Blink 182. It was during tour and it sort of reminded me of trying to pet a dog when they’re so excited to see you that they can’t sit still, like he had toooons of energy but he wasn’t too focused. It was clumsy but really fun and it’s a happy memory.
8. A friend of mine slept with Christopher Walken. He was in town for one night and told her that’s all they’d have. She was fine with that. She said he was a perfect gentleman and a very sweet lover. He kept telling her how beautiful she was and made her feel like a queen.
9. A co-worker’s sister slept with Chris Evans before he was famous. (Same town.) She worked it into every conversation she could. Because why wouldn’t you?
10. Knew someone who slept with Leonardo DiCaprio. Apparently he kept his headphones on the entire time.
11. I know a girl that hooks up with Hannibal Buress every time he comes to Milwaukee. They met on Bumble and she said he’s a very sweet guy.
12. I knew a girl who was an escort. She had sex with Derek Jeter. Afterward he called a limo to take her home. In the limo was a gift. It was a baseball signed by Derek Jeter.
13. A friend was part of an actor’s studio/playhouse in the 80s. She said Jeff Goldblum has a huge dick and is an amazing lover. They did it a few times but he let her down easy because his career was taking off and he was crazy busy. He was really cool and remembered her years later.
Alec Baldwin was also hung but was super hairy and sweated A LOT. Like, it was dripping into her mouth. It was too hard to ignore the sweatiness for her to enjoy it. But he was hilarious, very bright, and smelled good.
14. A friend of mine met Tiger Woods while bartending a golf charity tournament he was attending. He took her back to his hotel room and tossed her salad and had unprotected sex. This was several years before he crashed into a mailbox and divorced his wife.
15. Post Malone asked my ex-girlfriend if she would be interested in going home with him under the condition that she would have to eat his ass.
16. On a trip to Vegas, one of my friends fucked Michael Jordan. She said it was fairly fast. She won’t EVER stop talking about it.
17. A friend of mine slept with Perez Hilton. Would you be surprised if my friend said the sex wasn’t very good?
18. Back in the 00s, a mate of mine used to fuck Shaggy every time he would come to Melbourne. I think he probably made 2-3 trips down here, we’d all make a big deal about her disappearing for a few days to shag Shaggy. She had nothing but nice things to say about him – she knew she was nothing but a bit of side poon when he was in town.
19. I did not sleep with her, but I did a little more than made out with Drew Barrymore Oct 07’. It was rad.
20. I have a friend that slept with one of the guys from Metro Station about 5 years after we thought they were cool for a year. Apparently he wanted zero foreplay, finished within a minute or two, then basically threw her out.
21. Friend of mine bangscrewed an NBA player…the only detail I remember was that he was adamant about taking the condom with him when he left.
22. I slept with a well known (now deceased) rapper when he came to Toronto a couple of times, and I stayed at his place in California for a few days as well. The sex was good but it wasn’t any better than a non-celeb. He wasn’t selfish in bed at all and it felt natural because we got along. He was actually really down to earth and fun to hang out with.
23. My sister fucked Drake. I walked into her room like 10 years ago and she was Skyping him, I waved to him and said hi and he showed me the studio he was sitting in because I was skeptical. Pretty cool. I guess they met up after his show in the city we lived in at the time and then never spoke again.
24. One of my best friends met Jared Leto at a concert (not 30 seconds to Mars) and went back to his hotel with him. They banged, and he’s since texted her for a booty call when he was in town again. I believe they also sext on occasion.
25. Ex fucked Twiggy Ramirez (of Marilyn Manson) around 2000 or so after a show. Apparently, it was alright, his dick was huge, but it was over quick and then he kicked her to the curb right after to do coke or something.
26. I hooked up with the drummer of Slipknot when they were in town, twice. I was working at a strip club and he wanted lap dances. He paid me to do a lap dance for like, at least an hour. It was a ton of money. We bonded in conversation at that time. He invited me to hang out at his hotel which I was still naive enough to not know if that just meant hanging out. I liked him though. We had fun, and he put me on the guest list. I went to his show the next night, went backstage, checked out the tour bus, and then met him at his hotel again. For the answer to “how was it”- He was good. It was fun.
27. I slept with Matt Healy from 1975 a few years back. It was fucking awful. He lasted about 5 minutes, proceeded to smoke all of my weed, and then spent about an hour talking about himself and why his music was groundbreaking and going to change the world.
28. My dad dated Sarah Wayne Callies (Lori Grimes from The Walking Dead) in highschool. He defines her as “a very nice girl.” Truth be told I don’t think he remembers much of that relationship, but she came to our house party once when I was a kid and she was always really nice to me and my sister.
29. Someone I know fucked Steven Tyler, he’s not very good and he’s got a really tiny penis.
30. My ex slept with Til from Rammstein after a gig once many many years ago when she was a gothlet. She said he was very respectful, mildly kinky (wanted to have sex on the hotel balcony with her bent over the rail over the city so people could see) and apparently had skin as soft as a baby.
Apparently he was nice, bought her breakfast the next day. Invited her back for a second sesh the next day then moved on in his tour.
She said 8/10 would starfuck again.