20 Hilarious Ways To Tell Your Friends You're Not Hanging Out With Them In A Pandemic

20 Hilarious Ways To Tell Your Friends You’re Not Hanging Out With Them In A Pandemic

Ask Reddit knows exactly what you should say the next time your friends ask to hang out.

1. I have sworn an oath of solitude until the pestilence is purged from the lands.

2. Whilst you’re one of my very favorite disease vectors, I’m going to have to say no.

3. Can’t go outside, air is haunted.

4. I can’t be ranting about staying home and wearing your masks and then go to parties.

5. During a pandemic?!?

6. Begone, plague bearer!

7. Piss off, I don’t wanna catch corona.

8. Keep your lung cooties to yourself.

9. I’ll see you guys when that vaccine hits. Don’t have too much fun without me.

10. Nah sis, corona. Love you though bitch. 💜

11. Fuck off, I’m too poor to be sick.

12. I am 27 years old, I’ve no money and no prospects. I am already a burden to my parents. And I’m frightened.

13. Dude, no. There’s a pandemic?

14. Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.

15. I value the lives of my family, friends, self, and those forced to be in situations around me, sorry.

16. Fuck off, I ain’t dying this way.

17. I don’t want to get that rona form ya bitch ass.

18. You guys are dirty careless heathens and I don’t wanna die from one of you douches saying the word fantastic and spitting all over each other.

19. I’m not stepping foot in your haunted plague box.

20. I’m so tired of this virus. I want to do everything I can to make it go away. I certainly wouldn’t want to be an asymptomatic carrier and transmit it to my friends and family. TC mark

About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer and a collective pen name. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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