Focus on your own journey. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Stop telling yourself that you’re a failure, that you’re falling behind, that you have so much catching up to do.
You aren’t supposed to be measuring yourself against others. You’re supposed to be doing the best you can personally do.
The accomplishments of others aren’t supposed to make you feel bad about your own accomplishments. You’re supposed to celebrate others. Let their successes motivate you. Or ignore them completely. Anything is better than comparing yourself to a completely different person who is in a completely different circumstance. You might be the same age. You might come from the same town. But your journeys are completely different. There’s no point in making comparisons. You aren’t better or worse than anyone. You’re simply different.
Focus on your own success. Focus on your own healing. Focus on your own relationship. Focus on your own goals.
You don’t want to rush into marriage or a career, simply because you feel pressured by everyone surrounding you. You need to reframe your thinking. Instead of feeling bad about being the last one in your friend group to hit certain milestones, you need to be excited about the fact you still have those milestones to look forward to reaching. You have so many exciting things in your future. You have so much room to grow.
Of course, it’s important to remember that everyone’s perfect life looks different. You can’t assume you’re only going to be happy if you end up living the same way your ‘successful’ family and friends are currently living. They might be happy with their homes and husbands and children, but that doesn’t mean those things would make you happy. You need to figure out what you personally want, what would make you feel fulfilled.
You can’t live your life trying to impress everyone else. You can’t let them influence the direction your life takes. They might matter to you, but their opinions don’t matter. Not more than your own. You need to focus on yourself. You need to make yourself proud.
If your perfect life involves staying single instead of getting married, or traveling around the globe instead of buying a home, or jumping from passion to passion instead of following a single career path — then listen to your heart.
It’s important to remember that the life goals drilled into your head at a young age, telling you to get married and have children and work a 9-5 job, aren’t necessarily what you need to do with your life. You don’t have to aspire to reach the milestones society has laid out for you. You can create your own milestones. You can completely redefine what is means to be successful.
Remember, your journey is never going to look the same as the person next to you. You are completely different people with different wants and needs and desires. You can’t try to copy their life in order to be happy with your own. You have to figure out what works for you and you alone.