1. You feel completely comfortable in their presence. You don’t feel like you have to cover up your body to avoid being judged. You don’t feel like you have to pretend you’re someone else in order to impress them. Even when there are awkward moments, it doesn’t bother you, because you’re able to laugh it off. You’re more than partners. You’re friends, so you can joke around and have a good time.

2. You feel like your boundaries are being respected. Your partner never pushes you into a situation when you are hesitant. They never peer pressure you or guilt trip you into giving them what they want, either. When you say no, they immediately back off. They don’t try to manipulate your emotions or coerce you into changing your decisions. They respect your opinion. They respect your body. They respect you.

3. You have as many orgasms as they do. Your partner isn’t greedy. They don’t expect you to do all the work while they sit around and watch. They put just as much effort into the bedroom as you do. They return your favors. They reciprocate oral. They always make sure that you are satisfied at the end of the day because sex is about teamwork. They won’t be happy unless you’re happy, too.

4. You are able to communicate with them openly and honestly. You never fake your orgasms or lie to them about how much you love a position you cannot stand. If something isn’t working for you, you aren’t afraid of telling them the truth. You don’t hold back your praise, either. You feel like you can talk to them about anything, even subjects that would seem awkward with anyone else.

5. They respect your privacy. They don’t run around telling all their friends intimate details about your sex life. They keep private acts between the two of you — unless you have given each other permission to speak freely. Even though they would love to brag about how amazing you are, they care about you too much to objectify you.

6. They are understanding when you aren’t in the mood for sex. They never make you feel bad when you turn down sex. They are understanding. They are still happy to spend time with you, even if you’re going to be in your baggy pajamas. Time with you is time well spent, regardless.

7. They are patient, understanding, and open-minded. They take their time in the bedroom. They don’t rush to the grand finale. They make sure they turn you on properly, make you feel attractive, and give you the attention you deserve.

8. The sex feels meaningful. They make your body feel amazing, but they also make you feel like you’re in the right place, with the right person. They make you feel good all over — in your heart and your soul.

9. They make you feel beautiful inside and outside of the bedroom. They respect you. They spoil you. They treat you right every single day of the year. It’s clear they aren’t using you for sex. Sex is the cherry on top.